11 Points

11 Signs Bursting With Accidental Sexual Innuendo
written by Sam Greenspan

I called this list "11 Signs Bursting With Accidental Sexual Innuendo," but I can't guarantee they're all accidental. There are a few that might be the result of a 16-year-old low-level employee going rogue. So really, this entire thing is dedicated to him. Thanks, Blaine. Or maybe Chase. Blaine or Chase. You nailed it.

Here are photos of 11 signs that are inadvertently dripping with sexual innuendo...
  1. Intercourse Pretzel Factory.



    Intercourse, Pennsylvania: The gift that just keeps on giving. (And giving both soft and hard.)

  2. Flooring.



    Upon close examination, the sign shows a person perhaps unrolling some flooring, not a person having sex with someone who's been decapitated. Hopefully.

  3. Nothing Says I Love U...



    Until recently, Subway's footlongs actually weren't quite that long. That lie seems so perfectly apropos in this case.

  4. A happy ending from Friendly's.



    Man, I really liked Friendly's when I was a kid. They would make those sundaes that looked like clowns. Those really would give the meal a happy ending. No alternative definition required.

  5. Gynecology / Restaurant.



    Sure, we know those are probably separate places in this hospital and not overlapping departments, but dare to dream.

  6. Give Your Valentine Crabs.



    This is one of those that just might've been intentional. I'm thinking we blame it on the owner's son. Little Critters Pets looks like a family operation and mom was eventually furious about this.

  7. Sandals Only. No Pants Allowed.



    For most of the signs on this list, I know what they were going for. This time, I'm not so sure. What is the genuine intention of this sign? Sandals and pants aren't mutually exclusive.

  8. Please Don't Flash the Octopus.



    There's a whole branch of animated Japanese pornography that deals with the consequences of flashing an octopus. (You won't want to dig any deeper into that subject.)

  9. Players Must Put Out on the 18th Hole.



    I really don't like it when miniature golf courses mail in the 18th hole just because they want to collect people's balls. Like when it resembles skee ball or something. That more or less shrinks the course down to 17 holes. And no one's going to put out for that.

  10. Unlimited Erections LLC.



    Man, how disappointed must other businesses have been when they were trying to incorporate and Unlimited Erections was taken?

  11. Other Means of Payment.



    I *think* the sign is suggesting a blind person with a seeing-eye dog can pay their toll in a different way, but you never know with the Greeks.


This post was originally published on Friday, March 25, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex.

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