11 Points

11 Signs Bursting With Accidental Sexual Innuendo
written by Sam Greenspan

I called this list "11 Signs Bursting With Accidental Sexual Innuendo," but I can't guarantee they're all accidental. There are a few that might be the result of a 16-year-old low-level employee going rogue. So really, this entire thing is dedicated to him. Thanks, Blaine. Or maybe Chase. Blaine or Chase. You nailed it.

Here are photos of 11 signs that are inadvertently dripping with sexual innuendo...
  1. Intercourse Pretzel Factory.



    Intercourse, Pennsylvania: The gift that just keeps on giving. (And giving both soft and hard.)

  2. Flooring.



    Upon close examination, the sign shows a person perhaps unrolling some flooring, not a person having sex with someone who's been decapitated. Hopefully.

  3. Nothing Says I Love U...



    Until recently, Subway's footlongs actually weren't quite that long. That lie seems so perfectly apropos in this case.

  4. A happy ending from Friendly's.



    Man, I really liked Friendly's when I was a kid. They would make those sundaes that looked like clowns. Those really would give the meal a happy ending. No alternative definition required.

  5. Gynecology / Restaurant.



    Sure, we know those are probably separate places in this hospital and not overlapping departments, but dare to dream.

  6. Give Your Valentine Crabs.



    This is one of those that just might've been intentional. I'm thinking we blame it on the owner's son. Little Critters Pets looks like a family operation and mom was eventually furious about this.

  7. Sandals Only. No Pants Allowed.



    For most of the signs on this list, I know what they were going for. This time, I'm not so sure. What is the genuine intention of this sign? Sandals and pants aren't mutually exclusive.

  8. Please Don't Flash the Octopus.



    There's a whole branch of animated Japanese pornography that deals with the consequences of flashing an octopus. (You won't want to dig any deeper into that subject.)

  9. Players Must Put Out on the 18th Hole.



    I really don't like it when miniature golf courses mail in the 18th hole just because they want to collect people's balls. Like when it resembles skee ball or something. That more or less shrinks the course down to 17 holes. And no one's going to put out for that.

  10. Unlimited Erections LLC.



    Man, how disappointed must other businesses have been when they were trying to incorporate and Unlimited Erections was taken?

  11. Other Means of Payment.



    I *think* the sign is suggesting a blind person with a seeing-eye dog can pay their toll in a different way, but you never know with the Greeks.


This post was originally published on Friday, March 25, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex.

Facebookery?
11 Accidentally Inappropriate Puzzles and Games

11 Most Extreme Things Meat Loaf Will Do For Love, In Order

11 Businesses Whose Names Are Absurdly Nerdy Puns

11 Wildly Obscure Fetishes and Paraphilias

11 Crazy Old Valentine's Day Cards That Would Never Exist Today

Archive of all Dating & Sex posts
There Are Now 17 Different iPads on Sale -- Which One Should I Get?
There Are Now 17 Different iPads on Sale -- Which One Should I Get?
Published Tuesday, March 28, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Web & Tech
The 11 Worst-Tasting Beers in America (According to Statistics, and According to Me)
The 11 Worst-Tasting Beers in America (According to Statistics, and According to Me)
Published Tuesday, March 21, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
America's Anti-Oxford Comma Dogma Just Won Some Workers a Court Case
America's Anti-Oxford Comma Dogma Just Won Some Workers a Court Case
Published Thursday, March 16, 2017 at 08:00:00 AM under the category Books
11 Books With Lesser-Known (and Generally Disappointing) Sequels
11 Books With Lesser-Known (and Generally Disappointing) Sequels
Published Tuesday, March 7, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Books
11 Pictures of Absolutely Disastrous Mix-Ups
11 Pictures of Absolutely Disastrous Mix-Ups
Published Thursday, February 23, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
A Boyfriend Got Caught Cheating in Burger King's Instagram Comments?
A Boyfriend Got Caught Cheating in Burger King's Instagram Comments?
Published Tuesday, February 14, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS