11 Points

Why Gonorrhea Is Stronger Than Thor
written by Sam Greenspan

While watching Robert Altman's Avengers 2: Age of Ultron, I found myself pondering which character is the strongest. Is it the Hulk? Iron Man, especially in his Hulk fighting suit? Captain America? Hawkeye? (Just kidding.) Thor?

I'll go with Thor, because he's a demigod. I might be wrong, but I think the continuum of strength goes: God, magician, radioactive experiment gone wrong, robot, other type of experiment gone wrong, steroid user.

But that's not really why we're here. We're here to talk about something stronger than all the Avengers.

Gonorrhea.



I was doing my weekly reading about STDs yesterday and happened upon an article about gonorrhea's super strength. No, really -- super strength.
Gonorrhea is a ... beast. These tiny creatures can pull with a force equal to 100,000 times their body weight. What would this equate to in humans? Well, it would be as though a human could drag 10 million kilos (22 million pounds).

...

Pound-for-pound, [gonorrhea is] the strongest organism ever.
That's right, and that's fascinating: The strongest living thing ever is an STD. And not even one of the ones people worry about.

Is gonorrhea a superhero? Its nickname, "The Clap," is just like The Hulk or The Flash. It has its kryptonite: Antibiotics. Like other superheroes who are a little long in the tooth, it's evolving and finding ways to beat that kryptonite to stay relevant and interesting. Like superhero movies, it seems to be rapidly appearing at a higher rate than ever before. And like superhero movies, no matter how serious it takes itself, we all kind of just laugh it off because we know good will triumph in the end.

Still... probably best to avoid it. (Gonorrhea, not superhero movies. They're still entertaining, although the saturation point is approaching rapidly.)

And finally, big word of warning based on my experience putting together the graphic for this post: Do not ever, under any circumstances, do a Google Image Search for "gonorrhea." This isn't me trying to make it forbidden fruit. This is not a drill. You must promise me you will never look it up.


This post was originally published on Wednesday, May 6, 2015 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex.

Facebookery?
11 Sexual Activities That People Don't Count As 'Having Sex'

11 Sex Dreams That Don't Mean What You Think They Do

11 Random Thoughts on The Avengers

My Review of the First Song Ever Designed to Turn Sex Into Exercise

11 Strategies For Having Sex With Your Friend Or Teammate's Mom

Archive of all Dating & Sex posts
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
Published Friday, May 19, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
Published Wednesday, May 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
Published Tuesday, May 2, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category TV
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
Published Tuesday, April 25, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
Published Friday, April 14, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
Published Monday, April 3, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS