11 Points

11 Foods That Feature Cartoon Animals Killing Themselves
written by Sam Greenspan

Well this is a weird one.
  1. The chopping chicken.



    Not only is it extraordinarily disturbing to see a rooster chopping the head off a chicken (sending the bloody head flying in the process)... the striking resemblance to Foghorn Leghorn also maintains the proud Mexican tradition of borderline copy infringement.

  2. Deep-fried calamari.



    My favorite part of this is the uneasy look on the squid's face. Like he's conflicted about serving you his deep-fried children because he realizes that if you like it, he's next. But at the same time, he prides himself on being a good host.

  3. The pig and the fish.



    I'm thinking this is some kind of murder-suicide pact. I think the pig takes out the catfish then burns himself, but that's really baseless speculation.

  4. Jack the Ribber.



    I'm not sure what message this guy's face is sending. Is he so in love with his flavor that he can't stop licking himself (which is, I guess, how animated ribs masturbate)? Is it because he's a slab of ribs named after a serial killer and probably scares little children? Or is he taunting me because he's got the barbecue sauce paintbrush and I'm sitting over here trying to apply barbecue sauce with a knife, like a caveman? Whatever it is, I don't know if I'd eat there.

  5. Hot dog suicide.



    I love ketchup as much as -- or, quite frankly, more than -- anyone out there, but I don't really want to see my hot dog applying it to himself. Hot dog meat is already questionable enough without knowing it's suicidal.

  6. Harry Plopper?



    This really looks like Spider Pig once he transitions to Harry Plopper. You know, except that Spider Pig doesn't do the die-in-a-fire thing.

  7. Shaved ice.



    I've got to give a lot of credit to the artist for going with a traditional men's razor here. It's a good touch. If only he'd use whipped cream as shaving cream. I'm also glad that I never found a gyro place that showed a dripping, greasy spit of lamb meat using Bic on itself... that just doesn't seem as cute.

  8. The fire, it burns.



    As I was researching this list, I found dozens and dozens of animal mascots killing themselves, and in almost every case, they do it with a smile. Not this chicken. He's burning himself alive and he is HATING it. I have no idea how this is supposed to make me hungry for chicken -- it'd kind of be like eating lamb chops at a petting zoo -- but it's probably more accurate.

  9. The pig slicing himself.



    I can't tell what's going on with his face. Do you believe his smile that he's happy? Is that long black line on his face supposed a tear from the pain? Or is it a teardrop tattoo from all of his homeys that he's sliced up first? These are the questions the French are too afraid to answer.

  10. Are cheese and "Cheez" really the same thing?



    This guy is exceptionally happy to be bathing in a tub of yellow that may have traces of real Kraft somewhere inside but has since been transformed into a sea of artificially-colored chemical paste. (The amount of real cheese in there is kind of like the amount of Screech's school song that made it into the version that everyone else rewrote.)

  11. Duck respect duck.



    Now THAT'S some duck a la wrong. (HI-YO!)


This post was originally published on Thursday, June 24, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink.

Facebookery?
11 Best, Ugliest Mascots in Sports

11 Lessons My Friends and I Learned Frying a Turkey

11 Most Scandalous Saved by the Bell Revelations in Screech's Autobiography

The Secret Formula For How Much to Spend on a Bottle of Wine For a Party

11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed

Archive of all Food & Drink posts
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
Published Thursday, August 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
Published Wednesday, July 26, 2017 at 10:00:00 AM under the category Books
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
Published Thursday, July 6, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
Published Thursday, June 22, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
Published Friday, June 9, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
11 Nintendo Video Game Systems, Ranked By How Many Games They Got
11 Nintendo Video Game Systems, Ranked By How Many Games They Got
Published Friday, June 2, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS