11 Points

11 Foods and Drinks That Are Lesser-Known Aphrodisiacs
written by Sam Greenspan

Fourteen months ago I did a list of the 11 Foods That Just Might Kill Your Sex Drive and I always intended to follow it up with a counterpoint list of aphrodisiacs. But stuff kept coming up. Mostly car related.

Anyway, the follow-up day has finally arrived. My goal for this list was to find lesser-known aphrodisiacs. Everyone's heard that oysters and chocolate get your loins all electric. My intention on this site has always been to avoid the obvious. (I'm not Annyong trying to teach people lessons about obvious, ya know.)

So I found these 11 lesser-known but totally viable aphrodisiacs -- eight of which should be fairly easy to get your hands on, one of which you might have to go to a state fair to get, and two of which were just too ridiculous and amazing not to include.

So read up, then go be fruitful and multiply. Even though none of the turn-ons listed below are fruits. (Or multiplication tables.)

  1. Smell the sexuality.
    Pumpkin pie. Research from the Smell and Taste Treatment Research Center in Chicago found that the number one scent that turns men on is pumpkin pie. So before you go out this weekend, open your refrigerator, grab that last leftover piece of Thanksgiving pumpkin pie, and just smear it all over yourself. (Then thank me later.)

  2. Borax rectal injections. Borax is a mineral compound that's primarily used in detergents, anti-fungal medicines, and ceramics. But last night I learned it has another usage, when properly, um, ingested. Let's turn things over to Dr. Joseph Bates, author of 1867's "Journal of Meteria Medica"...
    "It (borax) is an aphrodisiac, and will excite the venereal appetite when taken internally; but its aphrodiasiac effects are said to be more marked when a solution of it is injected into the rectum and retained there for an hour or two."
    In this 1867 medical journal, he also lists other aphrodisiacs including Indian hemp oil, oil of turpentine, nux vomica (whatever that is), phosphorus, musk, castor, and opium. Wow. Forget aphrodisiacs -- mix all that up and you're one eye of newt away from being able turn people into donkeys.

    (Or, conversely, you could mix all that up, toss a bone in there with some meat on it -- and you got yourself a stew.)

  3. Celery. Apparently, celery actually contains pheromones. So gnawing on some celery is like the bland vegetable equivalent of dousing yourself in Axe body spray.

  4. Fois gras. Because nothing says "turn on" like eating the liver of a force-fed goose. For some reason whenever I read the anti-foie gras propaganda I think of that scene from "Se7en" where Kevin Spacey makes the obese guy eat himself to death. Anyway, go have some sex thinking about that.


  5. The Merciless Pepper of Quetzalacatenango.
    Chili peppers. According to the Internet, eating a chili pepper has the same chemical effects on your body as sex. And if you don't like eating spicy things, you can always get the chili pepper aphrodisiac effect by putting on tighty whiteys and singing "Suck My Kiss".

  6. Prairie Oysters. Not oysters. Prairie oysters. Crunchy crunchy!

    (Yes, it's interesting and all that bull testicles are an aphrodisiac, but what I found more interesting is that I had no idea how to spell "prairie." How did this word escape me? As I was typing up this point I couldn't spell it without the spell check's help. How did that word escape me? Is it because I'm not a connoisseur of Michael Landon or Garrison Keillor's work?)

    (And now, typing the above sentence, I realized I also don't know how to spell connoisseur without spell check's help. Certainly less embarrassing than not knowing how to spell prairie, but still. Has the squiggly red line begun a full-scale erosion on my spelling aptitude? Minor panic has set in.)

  7. Caviar and truffles. These are aphrodisiacs because blah blah high in zinc blah blah musky aroma blah blah blah. Forget all that. Caviar and truffles are aphrodisiacs in the same way as giant walk-in closets, monogrammed shirts and non-3-series BMWs are aphrodisiacs. And it's not because any of those contain zinc or musky aromas, either.

  8. Ginkgo biloba. Pop some ginkgo biloba capsules -- they're good for your memory AND your sex life. (Maybe because having a good memory can be such a great turn-on; people love it when you remember little details like where to nibble to get their motor running, or their name.)


  9. Deer penis, pre-grinding.
    Powdered deer penis. From everything I've read in the last five minutes, in Chinese medicine, they make liberal use of deer penis. (I get the impression that doctors over there prescribe deer penis the way doctors over here prescribe anti-depressants.)

    Anyhoo, if you grind up deer penis and sprinkle it into your wine, it's supposed to be a serious sexual boost. Not sure where you'd get deer penis here in the states -- I'd start by checking eBay, then hit up Chinatown, and finally see if you can convince Whole Foods it's trendy and organic enough for them to order it.

  10. Good & Plentys. Much like the smell of pumpkin pie gets men going, the smell of Good & Plentys gets women going. Maybe it's something chemical about the scent of the licorice or maybe it's because the oblong, pink-and-white candy coating makes them look like horse tranquilizers... but something's hitting the right chords.

  11. Absinthe. Not only is absinthe often cited as a turn-on, I also found books that identified champagne, stout beer, wine, cocaine, marijuana, and poppers as aphrodisiacs. So what you're telling me is that getting drunk or high puts you in the mood for sex? Groundbreaking stuff. That's like saying "taking a vacation to Greenland, Saskatchewan or Antarctica puts people in the mood for down jackets."


This post was originally published on Thursday, December 2, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink.

Facebookery?
11 Foods That Just Might Kill Your Sex Drive

11 Sex Dreams That Don't Mean What You Think They Do

11 Sexual Activities That People Don't Count As 'Having Sex'

11 Enlightening Facts About Caffeine

11 Strange, and Often Wrong, Colored Foods and Drinks

Archive of all Food & Drink posts
Are You Taller Than the Average Person in the World?
Are You Taller Than the Average Person in the World?
Published Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
11 Business Names Accidentally Bursting With Innuendo
11 Business Names Accidentally Bursting With Innuendo
Published Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex
11 Summer Olympics Sports Where the U.S. Has Never Won Gold
11 Summer Olympics Sports Where the U.S. Has Never Won Gold
Published Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
The 11 Foods That Most Commonly Appear in Famous Works of Art
The 11 Foods That Most Commonly Appear in Famous Works of Art
Published Monday, July 25, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Photos of Older Folks Charmingly Confused by Technology
11 Photos of Older Folks Charmingly Confused by Technology
Published Friday, July 22, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Web & Tech
Coke Once Made a Clear Cola That Was Intentionally Terrible to Take Down Crystal Pepsi
Coke Once Made a Clear Cola That Was Intentionally Terrible to Take Down Crystal Pepsi
Published Thursday, July 21, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
Full Archive



Follow
Mailing list
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
Pinterest
Instagram
RSS

Categories
Travel
Dating & Sex
Sports
Food & Drink
Web & Tech
Personal
Games
Books
Misc
News & Politics
Music
TV
Movies
Countdown
Interviews
Full archive

Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS