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11 Points Guide To Hooking Up
11 Accidentally Inappropriate Puzzles and Games
written by Sam Greenspan

Today's list is my personal adaptation of the old "a million monkeys on a million typewriters" theory. That is: Based on the sheer volume of the crossword puzzles, jumbles, Scrabble Grams and other word games that have been produced over the years, eventually, a random layout of letters is going to produce something dirty.

Here are 11 games and puzzles that inadvertently (or, in one or two cases, probably, um, vertently) turned out dirty, inappropriate or just plain wrong. Enjoy.
  1. The dirty Scrabble Gram - The sad part is, it took me about three seconds to see "butt sex" and a solid 40 seconds to figure out the actual correct answer. ("Subtext," by the way.)



  2. What's Yours Like? - Clearly, she's referring to her "favorite kind of rope walking."



  3. Vagina tiles - Since these were magnetic tiles, this isn't a case of the letters randomly shuffling during shipping... it's either a random error by a machine or an intentional practical joke by a bored factory worker. I'm strongly leaning toward the latter.



  4. Fun with mom - Ironically, when I was younger, one of the fun things I did with my mom was puzzles. (Not insultingly easy word searches with Oedipal typos though. We did the complicated logic chart ones and crosswords and such. What can I say? Until about age eight I was just like Langdon Alger: I was quiet and enjoyed puzzles.)



  5. The logical follow-up - If you do have an orgy with mom, maybe you should get a quick beatin'.



  6. Suck it, Trebek - A lot of the puzzles on this list are inadvertently dirty. But when 69 across is "The _____ __ mightier than the sword," you know it was the puzzle maker slipping one past the goalie.



  7. Stop the violins - Violins and violence should not be connected. Unless you're referring to the way people like Al Capone and Delonte West transport their guns, I suppose. Go Cavs!



  8. It's not a dildo, it's a math award - Best I can tell, on the Scrabble website, a word is randomly and automatically pulled from the Scrabble dictionary to be the word of the day. Clearly, no one took the time to audit this automatic process to make sure embarrassing words wouldn't come up. And that's how an entire day's worth of visitors to the Scrabble website found out that dildos are defined as the equivalent of genital Egg Beaters.



  9. 18 Down - Isn't "cuni." It's "aer." Just like the answer to 13 Down isn't "my wife's titties."



  10. How did the editor not catch this? - How can any person look at this and not instantly stare down the word "penis"? I mean, I could see someone missing a dirty word if it was spelled backwards, but not this one.



  11. On further review... - You should instantly see a bad word backwards, too.



This list was originally published on Tuesday, October 27, 2009 at 09:00:00 AM under the category Games.
It currently has View Comments.

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