11 Points

11 Deeply Existential Signs and Billboards
written by Sam Greenspan

Some might say that 11 Points is about as qualified to delve into existentialism as Lisa Turtle was in the episode where she was trying to impress the smart guy. ("What is art? Are we art? Is art art?")

But, just like Lisa Turtle, it's time to give it the ol' Stansbury try. (And also like Lisa Turtle, I'm currently wearing a sassy early '90s party dress under my smart person clothes, in case this whole journey into philosophy is a bust and I decide it's time to cut loose.)

Here are 11 signs and billboards all of which, whether intentionally or not, should've made road-weary travelers question their inner Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
  1. This would probably be more useful on a map. However, it's less useful than, say, a piece of paper that says "You are Lisa Simpson."



  2. If I don't believe in the dust storms, are there dust storms? It's such a wonderfully thought-provoking way of cautioning people about dust storms. If a dust storm blows in the desert and you're not around to see it, did it really happen?



  3. What's the point of life... or Pepsi? On one hand, this could be a depressing sign about the impact that one person can truly make in his or her life. On the other hand, it may just be this bar asking what's the point of drinking Pepsi when you can get hammed off Budweiser seven days a week.



  4. Godot? This sign would make Samuel Beckett proud (on at least two different levels).



  5. Even Target questions what is and isn't. At Target, sometimes a basket is not a basket, and sometimes a sign is not a sign. (Also, based on their flattering clothes sizing, sometimes a medium is not a medium.)



  6. A sign seen on the subway. Of all these, this is the one that could really put a college freshman over the edge. "If it's not the subway, then I'm not really riding the subway... but I think I'm on the subway, I mean, I paid the fare, I'm on an underground train, there's an angry guy in a giant winter coat over there listening to a 1989 Walkman... oh my god, this isn't real. None of this is real. I'm not real! I need a meatball sandwich."



  7. ...one of us? A stranger on the bus? Joan of Arcadia? Or in serious need of facial hair removal.



  8. The rest is still unwritten. I know this is only deep because of the janky translation (as this blog is no stranger to fun with janky translations)... but I really wanted to have a positive one on here. It's the warm, optimistic, stilted English-based positivity of your average fortune cookie, and I dig it.



  9. But you're using it to tell me that. So it really is in use. Which means either the sign is lying or the sign isn't real. (There is no spoon, by the way.)



  10. That's pretty harsh talk for a pawn shop. I don't know, Dutch... maybe I exist to sell you a handgun for pennies on the dollar and use that money to buy a hot pair of speakers. (And I mean "hot" in the Dick Tracy gangster way, not the Mims way.)



  11. I exist for churros. Gotta be honest, sign spray painted on the ground: A really, really good churro actually DOES kinda reinforce my existence.




This post was originally published on Monday, March 15, 2010 at 06:30:00 AM under the category Misc.

Facebookery?
11 Most Ironically Banned Books Of All Time

11 Businesses Selling Two Hilariously Unconnected Items

11 Gorgeously Ironic Misspellings In Protest Signs

Krispy Kreme Advertises KKK Wednesdays, Plus More Poorly Planned Phrases I Saw Yesterday

11 Geniusly Ghetto Christmas Decorations

Archive of all Misc posts
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
Published Tuesday, April 25, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
Published Friday, April 14, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
Published Monday, April 3, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
There Are Now 17 Different iPads on Sale -- Which One Should I Get?
There Are Now 17 Different iPads on Sale -- Which One Should I Get?
Published Tuesday, March 28, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Web & Tech
The 11 Worst-Tasting Beers in America (According to Statistics, and According to Me)
The 11 Worst-Tasting Beers in America (According to Statistics, and According to Me)
Published Tuesday, March 21, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
America's Anti-Oxford Comma Dogma Just Won Some Workers a Court Case
America's Anti-Oxford Comma Dogma Just Won Some Workers a Court Case
Published Thursday, March 16, 2017 at 08:00:00 AM under the category Books
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS