11 Points

11 Funniest Classified Ads Ever
written by Sam Greenspan

I've said this before, but I'll say it again: Enjoy newspapers while you can. Even though they are on a path to being completely obsolete with the 24-hour news cycle, you're going to miss them when they're gone.

One thing you're going to miss the most: The hilarity of the classifieds in small-town newspapers. Craigslist is never going to replace the unintentional comedy of a good, old-fashioned, paid classified ad. Like these 11. The 11 greatest, most ridiculous, hilarious classified ads I've ever seen.
  1. Don't you want at least a little? And you really can't provide the tools?


  2. Such a bad choice of words. Apparently, it never occurred to this person that maybe this phrasing would NOT help move his potty chair.


  3. Totally not important. Just like I don't care about numbers on this website, I'm just doing it for the love of writing. (Please join my Facebook fan page ASAP, thanks!)


  4. Not sure how these things are related. I suppose it is fun to watch someone weed whack while moving their hips in a slight circle, but I'm not sure if I'm making that a prereq for my gardener.


  5. It's never too late to say you're sorry. This guy just wants to ketchup. HI-YO! (Professional comedy writer for almost six years now, folks.)


  6. Grandma? I just got laid off and need a favor. Remember how you said you hated the home we put you in and wanted to live in a place that's more exciting? Well this isn't going to disappoint...


  7. Only done it once. This ad gets better with every sentence, culminating with the last one. Pack your bo staff and saddle up for what's sure to be a wonderful time.


  8. No, this is the "No HomerS" club. But you let Homer HendelBergenHeinzel in!


  9. I'm guessing it's the latter. But Peter might've been pretty good too!


  10. Harsh. This is almost as insulting as having to buy two airplane tickets.


  11. 15 minutes of fame. For one day, until these cockblocking broads had to post a correction, George Brownridge was the coolest man in town.



This post was originally published on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM under the category Misc.

Facebookery?
11 Unbelievably Insensitive (and Often Racist) Holiday Advertisements

11 Funniest Real Business Names, Dirty Edition

11 Ridiculous Signs That Always Make Me Laugh

The Best Picture I Saw This Week (1-31 to 2-6-2015)

11 Strangest College Majors

Archive of all Misc posts
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
Published Friday, May 19, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
Published Wednesday, May 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
Published Tuesday, May 2, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category TV
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
Published Tuesday, April 25, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
Published Friday, April 14, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
Published Monday, April 3, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS