Just one apostrophe turns this from a rallying cry into a history lesson. They've only got 14 colonies left. (Random fact: The most recent country to gain its independence from GB was Brunei in 1984.)
One exclamation point would fit the motif. Two would seem a little excessive but no one would bother with a screenshot. Three would be suspiciously overexcited. But FOUR exclamation points? Well that's just wrong.
SpongeBob is here.
Look, I'm not going to judge the meticulous hiring processes used to find managers at random Burger King locations, but it's entirely possible SpongeBob would do a fine job. Isn't there a restaurant in SpongeBob that he may or may not be affiliated with? ("It's a little after my time," I whisper in elderly shame, and acknowledge that I've heard of Krabby Patty's from the song Cat Daddy and not from ever watching the show.)
Blizzard of the Month.
It almost feels like they looked at the list of ingredients, realized they were pretty sparse and 66.7 percent peanut butter and threw in the comma just to add some diversification.
I'd be willing to call my kid "cute" or "adorable" and I regularly call him "Handsome Baby." I'm not sure I ever will -- or ever should-- get to a point where I'll call him "hot."
The state school of Missouri.
Well, Missouri has gotten quite a bit of bad press in the past few years for some pretty questionable decisions.
The price of perfection.
Ooh that's good (Internet definition of) irony. And I'm not sure Stella Artois qualifies as perfection, unless you're talking about a perfect "sounds sophisticated and foreign but is really made by Anheuser-Busch" beer. No offense, Lowenbrau -- you're arguably nailing that even better.
Robby's punctuation odyssey.
This is one of those Facebook screenshots that might be fake, but since it has the double whammy of bad punctuation and then a sitcom-esque punchline in the punctuation correction, I let it ride. (That being said, if I were going to write a fake Facebook post, it might look like this word-for-word.)
Tumor fights back.
Now THAT'S a malignant tumor. (See it's ok to joke about it because, upon adding the two commas the headline requires, this is a happy story and not a sad one about the world's only tumor-slash-Taekwondo master.)
Obviously the person knows punctuation, what with the emoticon -- but this really took a turn without a comma.
Reason for visit.
Ooh, a perfect chance for a semicolon. Get it? SemiCOLON? Ahem. Whatever. I say YOU'RE reaching. Anyway. How 'bout Game of Thrones, right?
This post was originally published on Tuesday, May 24, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc.