There weren’t many posts on this website last month. Was it because I was as lazy as a rug on valium.
There wasn’t much new stuff on 11 Points in November. Two theories why I didn’t do much writing…
THEORY ONE: Posts stopped almost immediately after the Indians lost in the World Series — and I stayed off the Internet for a week. As that week wrapped up, the presidential election happened, and I spend the subsequent weeks trying to figure out if there was still a place or role for frivolity in a bleak, crumbling world. And then it was Thanksgiving, and that more or less brings us to now.
THEORY TWO: Sooooo lazy.
So let’s go with Theory Two. Here are 11 photos of my kindred spirits in laziness…
1 | Card recycling
I really appreciate the disjointedness of the phrase “Who’s turning Christmas!” I assume the kid can’t read it anyway, might as well let it ride.
2 | Just reach backwards
There’s very little excuse for falling asleep when you’re carting around tens — if not hundreds — of thousands of hours worth of energy. And yes, I picture energy being like time in that Justin Timberlake movie where you could buy time and it would display on your arm. If you watch too many terrible movies, eventually you start citing terrible movies.
3 | So cool
Is this more cool than lazy? Either way, he’d be able to avoid the sun so very easily with the tiniest modicum of effort.
4 | The laziest Christmas
The laziness here is taken almost to a performance art level.
5 | A chair is wherever you’re sitting
I get being lazy with complicated IKEA furniture, but putting a desk chair together is usually a really short job. Especially for someone who, it appears, already tied together bedsheets to make a prison-style escape if necessary.
6 | Calories in, calories out
The recumbent bike is already the best way to work out while sitting. But getting on it in jeans and eating an ice cream cone is a next level anti-workout.
7 | Sharing the bed
You can wind up spending a lot of hours waiting for the baby to come once you’re in that delivery room. And if she’s up and the bed’s empty, I say you go for it. And I’m NOT just saying that because I’m pretty sure I dressed identical to that guy when my wife was in labor, down to the glasses and phone on the torso — and I totally would’ve hopped in if the bed had ever opened up.
8 | The tightest security
If his boss caught him, it would have to be a “I can’t be mad because I’m so impressed” scenario, right?
9 | Please take out the trash
It’s probably not necessary that in the time it took to find a piece of paper, marker and tape, certainly Sue could’ve taken the trash out. This scenario feels more like a matter of principle than pure laziness.
10 | Giant TV meets floor mattress
You couldn’t do this with a flat screen TV. Or if you owned a bed.
11 | Drive the dog
This photo shows either a very lazy dog walk or a gross misunderstanding of how the Iditarod works.
