I was at the grocery store last night buying the only two things I regularly run out of (ketchup and Diet Coke) and they were offering a sale on Heinz Ketchup that amounted to 22 cents off if you bought two. Climb the ladder, Monty.
When I got home, it sparked a mission to find evidence of much, much worse deals floating around the Internet -- and, as expected, there were tons of options to choose from. Here are 11 of my favorite photos of stores offering laughably horrible discounts.
A discount of one whole penny! How could anyone offer a worse deal than that?...
Here's how someone could offer a worse deal than that. Certainly no one could offer a worse deal still, right?...
And here's how you offer an even worse deal than that.
25 percent roach discount.
I know their bill was $484 and you can't give them the entire meal for free... but "insect on the food" has to be worth more than 25 percent off, right? That's a "hair in my soup" discount, maybe a "waiter called my mom 'sir'" discount -- but far too stingy for an insect discount.
Planet Fitness discount.
Some people might fall for the long term non-discount if the monthly rate was anything but $10. This sign just shows Planet Fitness is targeting the "can't even multiple something by 10" crowd -- in other words, get ready to be on an elliptical next to a frequent poster on Yahoo Answers.
You Save $12.
And suddenly, it becomes clear why Circuit City couldn't make the numbers work to stay afloat.
Lobster, in various states.
I feel like this deserves more than a $3 discount -- after all, who wants to drop a dead lobster in a pot of boiling water? The flavor comes from the torture.
Why pay $10 for a BBQ chicken?
I love this one because it's so confrontational in its pro-discount mentality... then knocks off 12 cents. This is the person who posts political rants in website comments on a daily basis but ultimately doesn't go vote on voting day because they got too wrapped up in a Bar Rescue marathon.
Orange juice on sale.
I would say they're offering a discount for people who speak Spanish, but really, they're just offering a discount for people who can recognize identical photos. So if you've ever played Photo Hunt, you're saving $1 here.
It's not just out-of-date medicine -- it's out-of-date contraception, which might be worse. I love that the Today sponge is so prominently displayed. If Seinfeld is to be believed, those really ARE out-of-date -- they went off the market in like 1995.
Quality price matching.
Sure, WE think this sign is stupid, but if even one customer ever takes them up on this offer, it's a big win.
This post was originally published on Thursday, July 3, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc.