I was going to title this email "Massive Blow Jobs" but I figured that might not make it past your spam detector.Aww shit. Irish, you gonna mess with me and fool me with your headlines, I'm going to fool you with mine. I hired a virtual personal assistant in Bangalore to submit the following photo to 80 Irish newspapers and websites every day:
I may not be the first to inform you, but I believe the picture you displayed in your last Inbox-O-Rama was tampered with (the headline from the Mayo Advertiser). Most of the articles I have found online list the title as "Massive Jobs Blow for Belmullet" (here: http://www.advertiser.ie/mayo/article/14280 and here: http://muckrack.com/link/143776)
Also, the text in the headline appears to be altered ("blow" is set a little too close to "Massive" and the other words in the headline appear lower than the first).
May still be an actual headline, but the way I've seen it phrased elsewhere seems to be more believable. I don't want it to seem like someone did this intentionally to fool people, but ... I don't know for sure.
Just wanted to give you a heads up. Love your site.
--Jennifer in Omaha, NE
The t9 on my LG [prefers] the word "jews" to "keys".That is a good one. I would find it hilarious to get a text that said, "Come home, we're locked out and need your jews" or "That guy cut me off, let's go jew his car" or "Matt Millen said that stopping the run and drafting wide receivers are the jews to victory."
--Bridge (via Twitter)
Who is your favorite choreographer- dance wise, and who is your favorite choreographer- judging panel wise?Choreography-wise, I think my favorite remains Shane Sparks. I know that's controversial and he doesn't always "hit", but he's done my favorite hip-hop routines on the show. I also like Doriana Sanchez a lot, but mostly that's because I think the disco dances are always great. Mia Michaels and Wade Robson are clearly the most talented, but sometimes get so far up their own asses that their routines piss me off.
Mine would be Mia Michaels dance wise, and Lil C for the judging panel, his method of critiquing is always so entertaining.
--Amanda (via Twitter)
ewww... natty light? really? aren't you 30?Well there really isn't any retort for that (other than "at least it wasn't Boone's Farm")... but I would still like to speak in my defense. At age 30, I still play a whole lot of flip cup. I feel that game is timeless. And in flip cup, you're not really tasting the beer. (Thus the infamous 11 Best Crappy Domestic Beers list I wrote back when this site was less than a week old.)
They're plotting something: Ginger festivalAnd while I don't trust them (I strongly believe gingers are the second-most-likely people to be plotting world domination, only trailing the Germans, and just ahead of the Chinese)... I'd like to think they all got together and sang this in harmony:
Hey, Sam, love the 11 Points lists, just thought you might want to check this Redheads Festival thingie, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8245290.stm
I missed it the first time, but nice Baseketball reference, I freaking love that movie.Yes! Someone finally caught my "Baseketball" reference! Which finally lets me share this list of the 11 dumbest comedies I inexplicably love. I didn't think this list warranted its own full 11 Points but it's perfect to include here...
Did anyone else notice that "Flipping Houses for Dummies" now comes bundled with "Loan Modification for Dummies?" Hilarious!Well you've got to upsell! That's just as natural as if they paired "Vista For Dummies" with "Repairing The Computer You Threw Out The Window For Dummies".
--Anonymous (via Facebook)
did you really spend three months in college interning at the "Jerry Springer Show"? If so, what was the most outrageous part?Yes, I really did work at the "Jerry Springer" show. Sadly, it was during that transitional era between film cameras and digital cameras so I don't have any pictures from my time there. (I was never a big film camera guy.)
--Pikzeequeen (via Twitter)
i was thinking of your unintentionally funny/racist lists, and just so you know, there is a bar in WI called Nig's Bar.Yeah, might want to change that. When I was putting together the accidentally racist products list, this one just missed the cut...
--Adam (via Twitter)
I read both your column and Bill Simmons column. I find you both tremendously entertaining...I even went as far as to tell my friend Randi, who introduced me to 11points.com, that I felt as if you were strongly influenced by The Sports Guy because you're writing styles are incredibly similar. I too am a Journalism major and find that it's easy to spot his avid readers because they tend to pick up his writing mannerisms..so imagine my surprise when I read that you actually hated him..a lot. What gives? Major fan of your column btw, keep up the amazing work!!First of all, I think it's great that you ended it "love"!
Sam, I've been reading all the inbox-o-ramas and I noticed that nothing was selected on your list about passed out people (here). I thought [this, and it's] pretty hilarious...Yup, these are my readers.
Mix egg whites and pepper and rub it on your prank-ee's asshole. They will wake up the next day with a burning, slimy asshole and will think they had a gay escapade.
--Victor in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil