Email list
11 Points
11 Points Guide To Hooking Up
11 Things Calvin Has Never Peed On, But Should
written by Sam Greenspan

"So Sam, you're now a published author and your website just hit its three-year anniversary. What are you going to do next?"

"I figured I'd spend a night Photoshopping Calvin pissing on stuff."
  1. Jellyfish stings.



    If you're gonna pee on something, might as well make it productive. Calvin could go around relieving people's jellyfish pain, not just befouling the Ford logo.

  2. Judge Judy's leg.



    And while he does it, he has to tell her it's raining.

  3. R. Kelly.



    How can you know if other people like something unless you try it yourself, right? Calvin can give him something hot and fresh out the kitchen.

  4. Dennis the Menace.



    There can only be one! This would be the first blow in a "Highlander" battle between the two impish, towheaded cartoon boys.

  5. A pregnancy test.



    And, if the peeing-on-pregnancy-test scene in "Juno" taught us anything it's that as Calvin pees on the pregnancy test he'll get to exchange cringeworthy dialogue with Rainn Wilson.

  6. Jeffrey Lebowski's rug.



    Calvin cares not about really tying the room together.

  7. A book on copyright infringement.



    Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes, doesn't get a royalty every time someone slaps a Calvin peeing sticker on the back of their windshield. So in an abstract sort of way, EVERY sticker of Calvin peeing on something is really him peeing on copyright law.

  8. Calvin Coolidge.



    Frankly, this is just bad luck by Calvin Coolidge -- one of the famous Calvins was getting the call here and it turned out to be him. I figured he was just more worthy than John Calvin and less... um... busy than Calvin Murphy.

  9. Brooke Shields and her Calvins.



    After this incident, perhaps some detergent should come between her and her Calvins.

  10. Kelvins.



    Absolute zero? Ha! I piss on your theoretical temperatures! (And, in the process, warm them back up and out of the theoretical range.)

  11. Roy Hobbs.



    Calvin should pee on Roy "The Natural" Hobbs to let him know there's only one Hobbes who he respects. [Side note: Has anyone ever accused The Natural of being all roided up? I know he had his special bat, but really. Not buying it. Someone make that guy pee in a cup. Although, if he's clever, perhaps he can buy clean urine for the test. Maybe even Calvin's clean urine. Full circle!]

This list was originally published on Tuesday, June 14, 2011 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc.
It currently has View Comments.

Facebookery?
11 Garbage Pail Kids That Have the Same Names as Real People

11 Questions With Rick Detorie, Cartoonist Behind One Big Happy

11 Parodies I Made of the Obama Hope Poster

11 Great New Moments In Accidental Racism

11 Careers Where It's Ideal To Be Obese

Archive of all Misc lists
Most Ridiculous Criminals of 2014 - Part Two
11 Most Ridiculous Criminals of 2014 - Part Two
Published Wednesday, December 31, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category News & Politics
Most Ridiculous Criminals of 2014 - Part One
11 Most Ridiculous Criminals of 2014 - Part One
Published Monday, December 29, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category News & Politics
Fantastic News Stories From 2014 That Didn't Get Enough Attention
11 Fantastic News Stories From 2014 That Didn't Get Enough Attention
Published Tuesday, December 23, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category News & Politics
Highest-Grossing Actors Ever (Almost All Of Whom are Shockers)
11 Highest-Grossing Actors Ever (Almost All Of Whom are Shockers)
Published Friday, December 19, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
Odd Words Shakespeare Invented That Never Caught On
11 Odd Words Shakespeare Invented That Never Caught On
Published Tuesday, December 16, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Books
Sports Photos That Look Sexual But (Probably) Aren't
11 Sports Photos That Look Sexual But (Probably) Aren't
Published Thursday, December 11, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
Full Archive



Follow
Mailing list
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
Pinterest
Instagram
RSS

Categories
News & Politics lists
Movies lists
Books lists
Sports lists
Countdown lists
Music lists
Dating & Sex lists
Food & Drink lists
Misc lists
Web & Tech lists
Travel lists
Games lists
Personal lists
TV lists
Interviews lists
Full archive

Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS