As I was finalizing plans for my Halloween costume ready for this year -- after much deliberation, I've decided to dress up as a super spooky ghost, using a white bed sheet with two holes cut in the eyes -- I was thinking it might be a good project to put together some topical ideas for those of you who want something a little less scary.
Here are 11 ideas for topical, pop culture and current event Halloween costumes for 2010. (This is a "Jersey Shore"-free zone.)
A member of the Tea Party.
This is pretty easy to put together. Get yourself a three-corner hat, a Big Johnson t-shirt, some denim shorts, extra-wide Velcro shoes, and make an anti-immigration or -Obama sign riddled with misspellings. A "Learn Are Language Or Get Out" sign is always popular, although you can't miss with "Our President is a Socalist. And he better not take away my Medicare."
"Bed Intruder" Antoine Dodson.
It's the best viral video of the year by a mile -- it deserves a tribute. Get a long, curly black wig, tie it up in a red bandanna, and wear a black tank top. The only issue you may run into is the ambiguity of the costume. You might combat that by ditching the accurate black tank top for a less accurate but more explanatory black t-shirt that says "Hide ya kids, hide ya wife."
According to the Liberal Media, Lady Gaga is going to be the most popular costume this Halloween. And that's fine, I suppose. So to avoid being part of the generic horde, if you must go as Lady Gaga, just commit all the way and use fishing line to make yourself a dress made out of actual bloody meat. That's the non-coward's approach.
This is an easy group costume. Get yourselves some flannel and suspenders or some windbreakers, a miner's head lamp, some cool product placed Oakleys, and smear some black charcoal on your cheeks. Maybe also get yourself a pickax. (And if anyone asks if they can hold it, say, "No... it's mine.")
Jesse James and that mistress of his.
This could be a good couples costume. You'll need a billion fake tattoos for both of you (including a forehead one for the lady). The guy will need to grow a hideous goatee and wear a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off; the woman will need a black wig and some kind of slutty pinup outfit.
Now... as for really driving the point home and wearing Nazi paraphernalia. I have to recommend not doing it. Satire is satire, but, in general, it's best for your life in the digital age not to be photographed wearing swastikas. Prince Harry, Taylor Swift, some idiot who's running for Congress in Ohio right now -- all photographed with swastikas. It's just not something you can talk your way out of.
Lebron James, sidekick.
I needed to Photoshop this one because it's my favorite. Now that Lebron is officially Dwyane Wade's loyal sidekick, it's the perfect opportunity to play that out in costume form. Get yourself a Robin (of Batman and Robin fame) costume, and throw a Heat #6 jersey over it. Occasionally shout out "Jiminy jillikers, Dwyane Wade" to really hammer the message home.
BP oil spill worker.
There's a BP oil spill costume you can buy, but I think you'd be better off making your own. At least that way you're not paying some company $40, none of which is going to the relief effort -- seems a little wrong to me, even for Halloween. Instead, get a cheap white jumpsuit from a uniform supply store, a white hardhat, some black gloves, print out the BP logo, attach them to the hat and jumpsuit... then have someone throw black paint at you. You could also get a stuffed duck to cover in black paint and carry around.
(I opted for the duck route so that next year, you can recycle it as part of a Zack Morris costume. Naturally Zack in the episode where Bayside strikes oil which the students are all in favor of until an oil spill kills Zack's favorite duck, Becky. But you already knew all that.)
The Old Spice guy.
Wear a towel, perhaps a sweater tied around your shoulders, and carry some Old Spice body wash. Oh, and if you're not a handsome, muscular black man, you have two weeks to figure out how to morph into one. (I recommend some kind of genie or gypsy. NOT makeup or whatever they did in "Soul Man".)
If you can get your hands on a Favre Jets jersey, that's good, but any Favre jersey will do. Grow your stubble, paint it white, then wear your Favre jersey... and no pants. No Wranglers here. You're going new Favre. Also, practice being able to cry on command. And if you're at a party and someone asks you to pass them a beer, make sure to run around, toss the beer off your back foot and probably have someone intercept it.
Then cry some more.
The JetBlue flight attendant.
There's a company that's actually selling the basics of this costume (navy shirt, tie and forehead bandage)... but I'm guessing you can pick those up on the cheap yourself. You also need to carry two beers in your hands. And as you leave the party, make sure you curse everyone out. (Returning home into the arms of your handsome male companion is optional.)
Russell Brand and Katy Perry.
For Katy Perry, grab one of the "California Gurls" (shudder) outfits, maybe some kind of brightly colored wig, if you don't have blue eyes like her, get your self some
novelty contact lenses to match. Cake yourself with enough makeup to look like a kewpie doll. To be Russell Brand, get a long scraggly wig and stop showering right... now.
And if none of these work for you, there's always "Slutty Mouse."
This post was originally published on Monday, October 18, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc.