11 Picks for NFL Week 9, Dolphins at Broncos
Published Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 01:00:00 PM

For those just joining use here, every week of the NFL season, I choose an NFL game and then compile 11 different predictions from different sources. Some are humans, some are computers, some are random, some are based on strange syllogistic theories... and they're all here, ever week, as part of this grand experiment of mind.

The game we're picking this week is Miami at Denver, two of the most unpredictably inconsistent teams in the NFL. The line is Denver -3.5, although we're all just going to pick the game straight up.

  1. Accuscore likes the Broncos between half and three-fifths of the time. Bad news, Broncos..
    Accuscore. (2-6 on the season) Accuscore remains in last place of all 11 of my predictive methods, which goes to show you: Computers aren't always right. Sometimes machines go bad. Remember "I, Robot"?

    This week, it likes the Broncos, 56 percent to 43 percent, with its traditional missing one percent.

  2. Former NFL star Eric Allen. (3-5) Former NFL star Eric Allen once again goes with his method of "always pick the team that's favored," so he's going with the Broncos.

  3. Random number generator. (3-5) I use Random.org's coin flipper for this pick -- heads means home team, tails means away. This week it flipped tails, so it's going with the Dolphins.

  4. Homeless guy outside my office. (4-4) I had trouble finding him yesterday, but eventually tracked him down hiding behind a little wall in the Del Taco parking lot. "You moved!" I said. "I did?" he responded. He's going with the Dolphins, no explanation given.


  5. A bronco beats a dolphin. Everything beats a dolphin.
    Battle of the mascots. (6-2) Last Sunday, some friends and I were discussing my battle of the mascots, and trying to figure out which mascot would lose to everybody. Some thought it was the color brown... others thought it would be a raven... but I believed that either of those two could take a dolphin. I just don't respect dolphins.

    So this week, clearly, the Broncos beat the Dolphins... because clearly a bucking, wild horse would stomp the crap out of a dolphin.

  6. Adam, the early '90s fan. (4-4) Adam was particularly fired up about this battle. "Elway versus Marino! That's insane!" But he likes the Dolphins just a little bit more... after all, he thinks they're still hungry after losing to the Bills in last year's playoffs... especially after they had to watch the Bills get destroyed by the Cowboys, 52-17, in the Super Bowl.

  7. Fatter offensive line. (4-4) The Dolphins are heavier up front by the size of a small woman or obese third grader, 1,595 to 1,502. I also learned that the Dolphins have a guy on their starting O-line (Ike Ndukwe) who went to Northwestern. I decided not to hold this against them.


  8. Karmen, our model/expert.
    A model who may or may not know football. (6-2) Karmen is going with the Dolphins this week, saying they're her "boyfriend's favorite team." I predict this information will do little to end the e-mails from various friends I've gotten inquiring about potentially having intimate relations with her.

  9. Just picking the home team. (4-4) This method has evened out, as, well, it probably should. This week it's going with the Broncos.

  10. "Sports Illustrated" legend Peter King. (7-1) King, who's alone in first place out of my 11 methods, likes the Broncos here. He says that while the Broncos "can't stop anyone"... the Dolphins are even worse at stopping anyone.

  11. My pick. (3-5) I don't trust the Broncos, but I certainly don't trust the Dolphins. It's a real toss-up for me, so I'll just try to ride Peter King's coattails and go with the Broncos.

Updated records next week.


This list was published on Saturday, November 1, 2008 at 01:00:00 PM under the category NFL Picks.
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