"Will Smith don't gotta cus in his raps to sell records." - Eminem, The Real Slim Shady, 2002
Will "The Fresh Prince" Smith's rap career, spanning from 1987 to 2005 (or, I guess, technically today, though he hasn't put out an album in 11 years), is legendary for its squeaky and almost militant cleanness. His early songs with DJ Jazzy Jeff were all about suburban class clown problems; his later solo raps were either tie-ins to his movies or on benign topics like dancing, parenting or family fun in Florida. They're dogmatically G- and PG-rated, with nary a trace of edginess to be found.
Until I decided to find it.
I idiotically combed through the lyrics to every track on every one of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince/Will Smith's studio albums. There were 100 tracks total. And while risque material is VERY hard to come by... when you look hard enough, there's a little of it there. Nothing that ever jumps beyond PG-13, mind you, but for Will Smith, that's downright filthy.
Here are the 11 dirtiest Will Smith rap lyrics ever...
Candy (from the album Big Willie Style, 1997)
Steady plottin on takin ya home,
Gettin all inside of your dome, makin' you moan.
You shoulda known (it's like candy).
As I'm seein you here, Mommy I know your peepin my stare,
And feelin my glare, brother thinkin bout unrollin' the bear,
Strokin' your hair. (Touchin me where?) Yeah there
The "makin' you moan" and "touchin' me where/ yeah there" is a little more sexually forward than Will Smith normally gets. It could be even more graphic, but I'm pretty sure the "dome" in "Gettin' all inside of your dome, making you moan" refers to him getting into her brain via smooth talking. (Also, "unrollin' the bear" probably refers to a bearskin rug, although the creative/perverted mind can think of all sorts of ways that could be a metaphor for some weird kinky stuff.)
La Fiesta (from the album Willenium, 1999)
The other night I seen her dancing,
Dude, he was over.
She did a split into a spin,
And put her leg on his shoulder.
And he was over.
During the course of this research project, I learned approximately half of Will Smith's songs are about interactions on the dance floor. This is the only one where he implies a woman's overtly sexual dance moves lead to a guy prematurely ejaculating.
I Can't Stop (from the album Born to Reign, 2002)
If all these people wasn't in here flocking around,
I'd have you in the middle of the floor baby knockin' you down.
And this is the only one where he declares he'd have sex with a woman right in the middle of a dance floor.
I Wish I Made That / Swagga (from the album Lost and Found, 2005)
Whoop somebody ass, taking my boot out.
This is the only time the word "ass" makes it into any Will Smith song.
If U Can't Dance (Slide) (from the album Lost and Found, 2005)
There's no lip biting or pelvic thrusts,
I mean you think that move will put the sting on her?
You too close, tryin' to put a ring on her?
You don't know that girl, don't cling on her and don't put your thing on her.
Here, Will gives dance advice to other guys out there. It's the only time he discusses that during close dancing, a woman might feel a little poke coming through. And yes, Next really covered that ground thoroughly in Too Close eight years earlier.
The Girlie Had a Mustache (from the album And in This Corner..., 1989)
With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!
Tight leather pants that fit like a drum,
And two big -- yeah well, she had some.
The next two lines are: "Anyway from behind she was fine / But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine." It's safe to say this song doesn't hold up to today's societal standards.
Code Red (from the album Code Red, 1993)
I was ready to attack her, unh
Giving the sex look like Dracula.
He never really says the word "sex," at least not outside of the word "sexy." In these lyrics, he's far more sexually aggressive than usual -- even if the "sex look like Dracula" line makes no sense. Is Dracula known for giving sex looks? Odd simile choice, although it's a decent rhyme with "attack her, unh." There are lots of unhs and ha-has scattered throughout every song.
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It (from the album Big Willie Style, 1997)
Women used to tease me,
Give it to me now nice and easy.
Big Willie Style era Will Smith is interesting, since it was written and recorded when he was between marriages. By the time he did the album Willenium two years later, most of the sex talk stopped as he was all about Jada. He'd still engage in it occasionally, but it was very rare. During the Jiggy era? He was all about women giving "it" to him nice and easy.
I Loved You (from the album Big Willie Style, 1997)
'Member when you used to blindfold me till I don't see,
Use your mind that's what you told me.
Will reveals his kinkier side here, albeit a softcore one. Still, if grading his lyrics on a smuttiness curve, this is him getting nasty.
Switch (from the album Lost and Found, 2005)
Girl on the floor, all her friends around her,
I mean real clean, ain't gotta touch or nothing,
It ain't like I like a chick-on-chick or something.
Here Will acknowledges that some people might enjoy seeing two women casually engaging in erotic acts together. But not him. (This is from Will's last album, when he's married with children.) Still, the mere acknowledgement lands it on the list.
You Saw My Blinker (from the album Homebase, 1991)
Then you saw my blinker bitch.
This is the only use of the word "bitch" in any Will Smith song, but it's repeated several times in the chorus. This is also the angriest Will Smith song BY FAR; it's his No Vaseline or Hit 'Em Up. What got him so riled up? The story of an old woman who hit his car, then played the "I'm an old woman" card to avoid charges or culpability. He is straight up venomous on this track. It really illustrates how road rage afflicts even the most mild mannered human beings.
This post was originally published on Friday, July 29, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music.