11 Songs About Different Amounts of Time, From Shortest to Longest, Part Two
written by Sam Greenspan

Yesterday, in part one of this stupid list ordering songs about time from shortest to longest, I posted songs from Whitney Houston's "One Moment in Time" up to Frank Sinatra's "Night and Day".

Today, we finish the job.

1. I remember when those riots started saying to myself, "I will NEVER live in Los Angeles."

   "April 29, 1992 (Miami)" by Sublime. This song refers to one specific date in one specific year; it's about when the Rodney King riots began. Strangely, April 29th, 1992, is the correct date they started... but the first lyrics of the song begins "April 26th, 1992".
   
   
2. "First of the Month" by Bone, Thugs 'N Harmony. This just barely beat out "4th of July, Asbury Park" by Bruce Springsteen. But it did. Because who doesn't want to go to the welfare office and smoke a lot of weed on the first?
   
   
3. "7 Days" by Craig David. It's quite exciting to meet a girl on Monday, take her for a drink on Tuesday, then make love on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. After all that, like God so long ago, on Sunday, it's time to rest.
   
   

4. Thanks to the Venetian, I will never listen to these gentlemen again.

   "November Rain" by Guns 'N Roses. There are a ton of songs that mention specific months (in fact, I started getting the idea for this list when, for some baffling reason, "December" by Collective Soul came on the radio in my car last week)... but this song, to me, is the best of all of them.
   
   Apologies to "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day, "A Long December" by Counting Crows, "Gone Til November" by Wyclef Jean, "April Come She Will" by Simon and Garfunkel, "February Air" by Lights and "January" by Elton John.
   
   And a big "I effed you over on purpose" to "December 1963 (Oh What A Night)" by the Four Seasons. When I was in Vegas last weekend my company put me up at the Venetian, which is doing Jersey Boys right now, so every time you get in an elevator Frankie Valli starts whining at you. If I never hear this song, "Sherry, Baby", "Big Girls Don't Cry" or "Walk Like A Man" again I will be thrilled.
   
   
5. "Summer Nights" from Grease. I don't like this song, especially since it's the second-biggest polluter of karaoke bars in history (behind only "Don't Stop Believin'")... but it was my pick for the song that refers to just one season.
   
   Although I did briefly consider "Summer Girls" by LFO. I DO like girls who wear Abercrombie and Fitch! Chinese food DOES make me sick!
   
   
6. "Four Seasons of Lonliness" by Boyz II Men. The other night I typed in "Boyz II Men" in my iTunes search box and just let it ride. You forget how much you love "Water Runs Dry" and "End of the Road"... and just how deeply they're seared into your brain... until you do that.
   
   
7. "1999" by Prince. Easy pick for a song that mentions just one specific year. An all-time classic.
   
   
8. "Five Years" by David Bowie. I thought about going with "A Decade Under the Influence" by Taking Back Sunday until I asked myself, "Who the hell is Taking Back Sunday?"
   
   
9. "100 Years" by Five For Fighting. This list really reacquainted me with this song. It sure is sad! Or optimistic. One of the two... I honestly have no idea which.
   
   

10. "Will 2K" is worth watching.

    "Will 2K" by Will Smith. The most underrated cheesy Will Smith song ever. Even more underrated than "Wild Wild West".
    
    Will Smith claims ownership of 2,000 years worth of time -- "The new millennium, yo, excuse me, Will-ennium." Adorable.
    
    He also gives a shout out to "Dick Clark, holdin' it down." And there it is in a nutshell, my friends: The reason why old white women aren't afraid to go see his movies.
    
    
11. "Forever" by Chris Brown. Forever sure is a long time. Especially to be on the dance floor.
    
    

This list was originally published on Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM under the category Music.
It currently has View Comments.

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