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written by Sam Greenspan

Dan Wilson plays guitar during a concert.

The lead singer of Semisonic says he wrote Closing Time as a metaphor for childbirth. A line-by-line examination into the lyrics must be done.

In 1998, a song called Closing Time came out as the debut single from a band called Semisonic. The song featured lyrics (ostensibly) about a lonely person’s experience during last call at a bar.

It would be Semisonic’s only hit — but what a hit. Closing Time was immediately and permanently the go-to song for the end of the night at bars, weddings, bar mitzvahs, parties, quinceaneras, and Semisonic concerts.

But here’s the thing. No one realized Semisonic had a little of that Robert Frost mojo in them.

It turns out the entire song was actually a metaphor for childbirth.

Semisonic’s lead singer, Dan Wilson, explained during a performance at his 25th reunion at Harvard…

Millions and millions of people bought the song and heard the song and didn’t get it. They think it’s about being bounced from a bar, but it’s about being bounced from the womb.

11 metaphors why Semisonic’s Closing Time is about childbirth

Let’s go line-by-line through Closing Time and try to interpret it in its alternative context. We will look at the metaphors used in the song and how they relate to the childbirth experience.

From letting you out into the world being childbirth to one last call for alcohol being a quick suck on nutrients in the umbilical cord, we will explore the deeper meaning behind this classic 90s hit. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but it will once go on with the lyrics’ analysis.

So grab a drink (non-alcoholic, of course) and get ready to see Semisonic’s Closing Time in a whole new light.

1 | There’s a vagina

Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world

As bizarre as it sounds, the metaphorical comparison between doors and vaginas actually works when we think about the process of childbirth, where the baby passes through the birth canal and out of the mother’s body… or out into the world.

In short, Doors = the vagina. We’re off to a smashing start!

Guests drinking inside the bar.

2. The lights should be on during childbirth, right?

Closing time, turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl

The “boy/girl” stuff makes more sense now. And I guess this line refers to hospital lights or the new world that a newborn enters. It could also represent the bright, hopeful future that parents envision for the child.

Unless it’s a metaphor on top of a metaphor and is referring to the beginning of human consciousness or something.

3 | Sensing the womb and umbilical cord

Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer

Gee, wonder why people thought this was really about a bar? Is whiskey or beer like one last quick suck of nutrients from the mother’s umbilical cord before being born?

4. Leaving the womb

Closing time, you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

So this is quite definitively the child being bounced from the womb into the outside world. The child can’t stay in the womb anymore, but they also can’t stay in the birth canal, so they have to keep moving forward.

The idea of not being able to go back to the womb, but having to move forward into a new phase of life, is a common theme in childbirth. Are you slowly getting convinced that the song is really about childbirth?

5 | Who’s taking home who?

I know who I want to take me home / I know who I want to take me home / I know who I want to take me home / Take me home

The baby wants his parents to take him home? This feels a little insecure, like Dan Wilson was worried his baby might’ve rejected him for one of the guys from Better Than Ezra.

6 | We’re making more childbirth sense here

Closing time, time for you to go out to the places you will be from

Logical. Makes more context in the childbirth sense than the bar sense, actually. It’s the child leaving the comfort and safety of the womb to enter the world and begin their own journey.

7 | Way more sense…

Closing time, this room won’t be open till your brothers or your sisters come

Makes way more sense. The womb wasn’t available until the other siblings got out of there. It represents the waiting period between the birth of one child and the readiness of the mother’s womb. Although I’m not sure that this line is really spectacular in the bar.

8. Another vagina

So gather up your jackets

Placenta, or cleaning up after childbirth?

Move it to the exits

There’s that vagina talk again.

9. Twins?

I hope you have found a friend.

Makes sense for twins, perhaps? It could also work in the sense of the child finding a companion in the outside world after leaving the womb. But it’s definitely a bit of a stretch compared to some of the other lines.

Otherwise, I’m not sure this works in the macro picture.

10 | End of pregnancy is the beginning of life (deep)

Closing time, every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Sure thing, makes sense, pregnancy ends, life begins, lightning crashes.

It’s the end of pregnancy being the beginning of a new life for both the baby and the mother. A deep thought that fits well with the overall theme of the song.

11 | Rinse and repeat

And from here on, it’s just the chorus a few more times and a few repeated lines. Maybe Dan Wilson wants us to focus on those lyrics, and adding more may send a much more confusing meaning to the already confusing lyrics.

Verdict: Semisonic’s Closing time really might be about childbirth, with a few serious red herrings thrown in.

Next week: Perhaps I can examine whether the Counting Crows’ Mr. Jones is secretly about the Nancy Kerrigan’s knee.