11 Points

A Guy Busted Doing 88 in His DeLorean Says He Wasn't Trying to Time Travel
written by Sam Greenspan

This might be the best statement uttered in as a legal defense in the entire world this year.

55-year-old Nigel Mills from Chemlsford, Essex, England is the proud owner of a classic 1983 DeLorean which, of course, is the car made famous by Back to the Future. He bought it at an auction in 2004 for $29,000 and only takes it out a few times a year. And back on Sunday, November 15th of last year -- perhaps inspired by Back to the Future Part II Day just a few weeks earlier -- he decided to finally let it rip.



Around 11:00 A.M., he took his DeLorean onto an empty freeway and gunned it. All the way past 88 miles-per-hour -- aka the speed at which DeLoreans time travel.

Unfortunately for him, he stayed in the present. Where a cop clocked him doing 89 and pulled him over for speeding.

Nigel decided to fight the charges and was in court on Wednesday. He said he didn't think he was going that fast -- especially not the specifically relevant speed of 88 miles-per-hour. Because, as he perfectly explained, quote, "I can honestly say I wasn't trying to time travel."

I mean... of course he wasn't. I assume he was powering his car with gas, not plutonium. How many jigawatts could he have been pulling? 0.2, max, right?

He also argued that the road was empty, that he was targeted unfairly even though he's a law-abiding citizen, and he thinks the cops should have better things to do than go after people channeling their inner Marty McFly.

Of course, none of those is an actual viable defense and, if anything, they're mostly overly entitled statements that are less likely to engender leniency. Fortunately for him, there was one real aspect of his defense: The cops somehow didn't have any evidence of his speed, so the judge threw out the case.

But wow is this guy going to get investigated hard if he ever wins a sports bet.

Sources: The Telegraph / Essex Live / Gray's Sports Almanac


This post was originally published on Thursday, September 15, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category News & Politics.

Facebookery?
The Promise of October 21, 2015 -- the Only Day Ever That Inspired Nostalgia For the Future

11 Predictions That Back to the Future Part II Got Right

11 Predictions That Back to the Future Part II Got Wrong

11 Best Hand Gestures of the Bush Presidency

11 Craziest Conspiracy Theories Americans Believe Today

Archive of all News & Politics posts
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
Published Friday, May 19, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
11 Coincidental Wardrobe Choices That are Evidence of Cosmic Intervention
Published Wednesday, May 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
11 Pieces of Advice For Anyone Cutting the Cord
Published Tuesday, May 2, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category TV
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
11 Foods That Were Engineered To Be Instagrammed
Published Tuesday, April 25, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
11 Great Moments in Pedantic Graffiti
Published Friday, April 14, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
Published Monday, April 3, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS