11 Lists From Year Two of 11 Points That, Sadly, Never Found Love
Published Friday, June 11, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM
Friday was my website's two year anniversary. And had I not blown up my entire content management system trying to put up a redesign (which is now way, way back on the drawing board), I would've posted this on time. Instead I dated it as if it went up on Friday when it was supposed to. And I guess if you're reading this anytime but Tuesday, June 15, 2010, this entire paragraph was unnecessary. But I'm living in the now, baby.
Last year I did 11 Lists From Year One of 11Points That Deserve More Love... this year I've softened my stance a bit. I'm not suggesting they deserve more love... just that I'm sad they never found love. I gave birth to about 160 children this year, and these 11 never found their Mr. Darcies.
The good news: Last year's criteria for a list not getting love was under 10,000 views... and I'm proud to report that I never have that happen to a list anymore. This year the criteria is under 100,000. And, to paraphrase Disco Stu, next year, if these trends continue, aaaaaay.
This list was published on Friday, June 11, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Personal.
It currently has View Comments.
Published Friday, June 11, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM
Friday was my website's two year anniversary. And had I not blown up my entire content management system trying to put up a redesign (which is now way, way back on the drawing board), I would've posted this on time. Instead I dated it as if it went up on Friday when it was supposed to. And I guess if you're reading this anytime but Tuesday, June 15, 2010, this entire paragraph was unnecessary. But I'm living in the now, baby.
Last year I did 11 Lists From Year One of 11Points That Deserve More Love... this year I've softened my stance a bit. I'm not suggesting they deserve more love... just that I'm sad they never found love. I gave birth to about 160 children this year, and these 11 never found their Mr. Darcies.
The good news: Last year's criteria for a list not getting love was under 10,000 views... and I'm proud to report that I never have that happen to a list anymore. This year the criteria is under 100,000. And, to paraphrase Disco Stu, next year, if these trends continue, aaaaaay.
11 Best Deep-Voiced Boyz II Men Monologues - I was pretty sure this was the list that was going to make my website a household name. I thought it was a deep-voiced gold mine, smoothed out on the R&B tip. Instead, it barely cracked 42,000 views -- which means it had basically no viral spread at all. This wasn't Boyz II Men, this was Another Bad Creation. My biggest disappointment of the year, hands down.
A sad disappointment with the Boyz.- 11 Best Nude Moments in Old School Nintendo Games - Nostalgia, Nintendo and sex... I mean, how does anyone NOT click to see what's on this list? I just don't understand. There are no breasts like 8-bit, heavily-pixelated breasts. All square and boxy and lumpy, they're like the inspiration for every plastic surgeon in Mexico.
- 11 Surprising Things That Give You Gas - Apparently, my readership isn't as gassy as I thought. So... uh... good on you. (Bad on me.)
11 Questions With Patrick Deep Dish Bertoletti, the World's 2nd-Ranked Competitive Eater - I know my interviews aren't a particularly beloved genre... the numbers make that abundantly clear... but this interview was amazing. Patrick talked with be about stuff that, I think, people would find fascinating -- training for competitive eating bouts, how he feels afterward, how much money competitive eaters make, even if they have groupies.
Now THIS guy's interesting.- 11 Weirdest Super Bowl XLIV Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made) - I thought that placing $121 in real bets on absurd Super Bowl minutiae like "Star Spangled Banner" time and number of guitar windmills by The Who would raise the stakes. This list did OK (and led to some of my favorite Twitter conversations ever during the game itself), but, as my highest-budget list ever, I was kinda hoping for more. At least I recouped some of the money. And was smart enough not to bet it on the Cavs.
- 11 Ways I'd Fix (and Save) the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame - I'm mostly disappointed it didn't blow up huge and find its way into the hands of the Rock Hall higher-ups. I had delusions of grandeur floating in my head that they'd read it, realize the error of their ways, make all the changes I suggested, then name a wing or a hall of the museum after me. Maybe the Wings Wing or the Daryl Hall.
- 11 Most Dangerous Holidays for Driving - I was disappointed here because I ran an actual, original statistical analysis and thought that maybe I could crack through to the 24-hour news cycle with this. I mean -- those people need a ton of crap to talk about, my study certainly could've qualified. I think perhaps my credibility is hurt by, ya know, this being a comedy site that employs a giant, hot pink font.
11 Techniques to Pick a Baby's Gender, From Most to Least Effective - I felt like there was some really interesting stuff in here. Maybe the title seemed prohibitively scientific. Or people don't want to play God. Either way.
Don't you want to pick your own adorable baby?- 11 Greatest Parodies Of We Are The World - This was one of my favorite ones to research, and one that I still go back to on occasion. I'm going to go ahead and blame the awful "We are the World" reboot for this list's failure. The "We are the World" reboot made the "Clash of the Titans" reboot look like a good idea.
- 11 Foods That Just Might Kill Your Sex Drive - This one (unlike the dangerous/safe holiday ones) actually did get mentioned on several local news channels and radio shows. Unfortunately, very few of them actually made mention of 11 Points, so that didn't lead to web traffic. Old media and new media really don't know how to trade eyeballs back and forth. Old media forgets to give shout-outs to websites... new media hosts absurdly intrusive ads for movies that pop up over the content.
- 11 Funny Graphs About Twitter - So this is a little against the rules, since this one did clear the minimum threshold -- but it had to scrap and claw to get there. And based on how I thought it would perform -- ya know, I kind of figured it would get retweeted like Justin Bieber saying "I'm going to sleep" -- it was a tremendous disappointment.
This list was published on Friday, June 11, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Personal.
It currently has View Comments.
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11 Points Live Blog - 2010 Emmy Awards
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Full Archive
Published Sunday, August 29, 2010 at 06:57:00 PM under the category TV
11 Acronyms Whose Dirty Meanings Have Usurped Their Clean Meanings
Published Thursday, August 26, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex
11 Stars of The Expendables, Ranked By On-Screen Ass Kicking
Published Tuesday, August 24, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
11 Very Unfortunate Mistakes On TV News Graphics
Published Friday, August 20, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category News & Politics
11 Thoughts On the WWE After Attending Monday Night Raw
Published Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports
11 Famous Sony Products, Ranked From Worst Failure to Biggest Success
Published Monday, August 16, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Web & Tech
Full Archive
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is Sam. Screw Flanders.
It's composed entirely by this stern-
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is Sam. Screw Flanders.
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11 Points is a collection of exhaustively-researched, meticulously-written, theoretically-humorous 11-item lists, covering topics ranging from TV and movies to the Internet and video games to food and dating to politics and race relations.
It's all written by Sam Greenspan, a Midwest-born, classically-trained journalist who now tries to make a dollar out of 15 cents in Los Angeles. (It's hard to be legit and still pay the rent.)
Read more about 11 Points and Sam here.
For information about reprinting 11 Points content, or for quotes/interviews for your newspaper, magazine, website, TV program, or radio show, contact Sam via e-mail at
It's all written by Sam Greenspan, a Midwest-born, classically-trained journalist who now tries to make a dollar out of 15 cents in Los Angeles. (It's hard to be legit and still pay the rent.)
Read more about 11 Points and Sam here.
For information about reprinting 11 Points content, or for quotes/interviews for your newspaper, magazine, website, TV program, or radio show, contact Sam via e-mail at
