11 Points

11 Points Live Blog of 11 - 11 - 11
written by Sam Greenspan

I figured I had to live blog the DAY OF ELEVEN, right? The only problem is this isn't something specific to cover, like my previous live blogs of the World Cup, Emmys, or my book being released. So, instead, I figured we'd just talk whatever random subjects came up.

Please email in your questions to sam AT 11points . com or tweet them @11Points.

We'll do this for at least a few hours, maybe even more, depending on how things roll in. Scroll down for the most recent stuff...
  1. 11:11:11 am (Central)

    JordanTG: What are you feeling for the Bengals right now?

    Sam: The same thing I feel every time a team that was supposed to be tragically horrible looks competent and inspires optimism in its fans. Which is... why the hell doesn't this ever happen with the teams from Cleveland?

    Jordan TG: Also, Do you think the Lions have a chance at taking the packers off track on the 24th?

    Sam: Absolutely. I don't think the Packers are going to go undefeated, and strange things happen in the NFL. But I think, ultimately, the Packers will last longer than the Lions in January/February.

    Heather: Team Zack or Team Slater?

    Sam: I've always been a Zack Morris guy. That's a no doubter. For many years I even considered Zack one of my role models. Not only did he have the charisma of a cult leader but he had the ability to freeze time. I'd probably rather be Zack Morris than Batman.

    Adam: What can you say about 11/11/11 during a live blog?

    Sam: I figured we could just enjoy this day by hanging out online for a little bit, and talk about things that may or may not be related to the number 11. It's just a thing. I don't know. I wasn't about to sit here and NOT celebrate the day that's made up entirely of the number I've staked the last 3+ years around.

    Tony: Do you think people are screwing Veteran's Day to celebrate 11/11/11?

    Sam: I thought about that last night and it eerily reminds me of a great Simpsons quote from the Flaming Moe's episode:
    Mayor Quimby: "Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day!"
    Quimby's aide (whispering): "It's already Veteran's Day."
    Mayor Quimby:"It can be two things."
    Spot on, right?

    ILoveTennant: Favourite movie of 2011 so far?

    Twitter name "ILoveTennant" and "favourite"? I would be so disappointed if it turned out you lived in, like, Michigan.

    I'd say it's a bad sign that I had to go look up a list of this year's movies just to remember which ones I'd seen and liked. I guess it's Bridesmaids, but sort of by default.

    Other movies I've enjoyed this year: X-Men: First Class, Horrible Bosses (although I was a bit let down), Limitless surprisingly, Cedar Rapids, and Harry Potter and Squeezing an Eighth Movie Out of a Seven-Book Series: Part Two.

    My biggest disappointment was Cowboys and Aliens.

    Ханна: In the UK it's memorial day today where we wear poppies and observe a two minute silence. My Lithuanian friend didn't care, and my Polish friend was more concerned with it also being Polish Independence Day. I had never thought before that the end of the war also meant Polish independence, the more you know.

    Sam: It can be... um... four things.

  2. 11:40 am

    Sam: Just reordered things so this will all flow in one chronological manner.

    HeyPeanuttt: Partying all day for brother's 11/11/11 birthday. He turns 26 - I just turned 33, which is 11+11+11. What do we do at 11:11pm?

    Sam: Well, first of all, it would be much cooler if he was turning 11. Although then I guess that would alter the "partying" and make it more oriented around whatever 11 year olds do these days. (Video games and meth, from what I've read in the Liberal Media.)

    I would say that at 11:11 pm, assuming you're all not asleep by then (which is a very, very realistic possibility), you take 11 sips of Franzia, which is about 11 proof, and then set a car on fire.

    TheGIGGAS_OS: What are your thoughts on the state of televised comedy shows?

    Sam: I think there's a lot of good right now but also a lot of bad. For instance, Parks and Recreation gets funnier by the episode. I don't make a destination of watching it but my girlfriend puts on Modern Family and I laugh a lot. I think The New Girl is really good. And over on cable, I have had a love affair with this season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- if you have thoughts on that, please send them in! Also, I finally caved and caught up with The League -- I'd boycotted for so long because I couldn't stomach a show about fantasy football -- but now I love it since fantasy football was just a trick to get a show produced that's hilarious and filthy.

    That being said, there's a lot of bad. 2 Broke Girls specifically stands out to me as an example of all that is wrong with comedy today.

    Hanna_Weasley: What fictional character would you most like to party with?

    Sam: The Tooth Fairy. First we blow through a ton of money, then I drunkenly sit her down for an intervention about spending her entire life going into little kids' rooms at night and explain that if she was a guy she would've been thrown in prison long ago.

    Cheekylink: Have you ever heard of an ex-bf-in-law? As in your ex's ex? It's a thing, right?

    Sam: I mean... I suppose that's a thing. I generally have trouble hanging out with my girlfriend's ex-boyfriends as all I can do is sit there and constantly compare myself. That's one brutal rabbit hole.

    Elliott: What is your stance on e-readers? Pro e-ink; pro color; or screw those, I like the smell of books?

    Sam: Well I have a Kindle and I really like it. Except I never take it when I travel because I'm already shlepping my iPad and it feels redundant. Only I never read books on my iPad. Therefore, I do not read books on vacation.

    Ultimately, I think I prefer e-ink like the Kindle and real books. For my book, I strongly prefer the printed version -- I think it reads better and the footnotes come across much better without having to click on them, travel to a different section of the book to read them, then travel back.

    Hanna_weasley: I liked Limitless up until the ending. Am I cynical to think they screwed it up by not giving him a tragic downfall?

    Sam: I was also shocked that SPOILER ALERT COMING they gave him the mega-happy ending. Any movie about a guy who only realizes his full potential through drugs isn't supposed to end with those drugs continuing to make him happy, ya know? Still really enjoyed the movie though.

    Elliott: What do you think about 2 non-BCS conference teams (potentially) being in the top 10 again this year?

    Sam: I'm like the one person out of a billion who doesn't actually have a problem with the BCS and doesn't think college football desperately needs a playoff. I think the way to fix it is to stop putting so much weight in the preseason polls. Wait until week six to put out a poll. Also, I don't know that teams like Boise State or Houston really should be playing in the national championship, even if they're undefeated. And I don't point at BSU's record against major conference teams as evidence they should. Those are their biggest games of the year and are super major events -- with cupcake teams scattered in between. SEC teams have to play competition that hard for eight, nine weeks in a row. I'm sure this answer will infuriate some people, but I stand by it.

    ApplePieNinja: Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?

    Sam: I grew to be annoyed by most of them by the end -- especially Harry, who turns unbearably whiny around Order of the Phoenix -- but I always wished Hagrid had more of a role in the finale. I really liked the idea of him gathering the giants to fight with the good guys, I think Rowling hints at that in the end of the fourth book but it never really came to be.

    Or maybe that's just my pro wrestling fan side coming through, having been brainwashed by Vince McMahon for the past 20 years into thinking gigantic men are the end-all, be-all.

    ILoveTennant: Most anticipated film of 2012 - Avengers or The Hobbit?

    Definitely The Avengers. I am not a huge Tolkien movie guy. I can't even remember if I saw Return of the King. Plus Avengers was filmed in my hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. My dad would walk to his office past their wrecked cars and other madness.

  3. 12:11 pm

    Alyson: Would you rather live in the DC or Marvel Universe? and would you want to have a power if you did?

    Sam: Let's see. Looking at the headliners, DC has Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Flash, and Green Lantern. Marvel has Spiderman, the X-Men, Fantastic Four, Punisher, and Iron Man (and other Avengers). I feel like I'd feel safer as a random dude in the Marvel universe, as there are a shitload of big name superheroes jockeying to fight crime. As a superhero, I might want to be in the DC universe because they have the two biggest names of all and you're going to want to get that rub.

    As for a superpower, even though I've ragged on it before, I'm going to stick with invisibility. When you're invisible there's nothing you can't do. (Other than be seen.)

    Sean: Do you watch any “Adult Swim” cartoons on Cartoon Network?

    Sam: Unfortunately no. Although I have the DVDs (for those of you out there wondering, DVDs are an old technology that people used to watch movies and TV shows before Netflix and iTunes) of Children's Hospital and I'm looking forward to watching it a lot.

    Sparrowtell: Give me one rational reason, not including military time, not to celebrate at 11:11 PM.

    Sam: Why would I give you a reason not to celebrate? Celebrate away. Remember to wear a female condom. Looks like a jellyfish but keeps you from getting stung.

    Scartissue1991: When are you gonna do another Simpsons or Arrested Development (or both) list?

    I hadn't realized how long it's been since I did one. 11 Thoughts on Mitch Hurwitz's 11 Reasons Why Arrested Development Was Canceled was my last one. I will certainly have another before the end of the year.

    Zbg333: Will there be a third 'What I learned from frying a Thanksgiving turkey'?

    Sam: My two lists about my friends and I frying a turkey (first, second) were a lot of fun but I don't necessarily foresee a third. I'm not going to Cleveland for Thanksgiving this year -- my parents are coming here. And amongst my friends there hasn't been much of a groundswell to fry again -- turned out to be a lot of time and effort for something that wasn't as Earth-shattering as we'd been promised by one-armed frying loyalists on the news.

    Elliott: Do you ever post on Reddit?

    Sam: Nope. From everything I've seen, that place is absolutely brutal on publishers who post their own stuff. I hope people post 11 Points lists on there, but I keep a little bit of distance.

    Elliott: If you were to go back to school, what kind of degree would you pursue?

    Sam: MBA for sure. Two years in school that's a total wank -- group projects, nights out drinking, and everyone there knowing you're getting two years off work and living it up -- and leave with a six-figure job. Not necessarily the path I'm going down (nor is a six-figure job a motivator for me at all) -- but if I ever ended up going back to school, business school is the no-brainer way to go.

  4. 12:32 pm

    Dean: Any plans to watch Spinal Tap today?

    Sam: Wasn't planning it, but now that you mention it, seems like a good movie to watch. Better option than Ocean's 11, most definitely.

    Hanna_weasley: No love for Community? You need to watch that shit.

    I really plan on it. I have the first two seasons on hand. I have this weird habit of only watching TV shows if I can start at the beginning and catch up. It works better than way most of the time I've found.

    Jeff: How does it feel to see all the top 11 lists people are doing today?

    Sam: Jeff, I wish I was a bigger person, but every time I see anyone do a top 11 list I feel my blood boil just a tiny bit.

    James: What are 11 moments that made you realize you were moving on to a new chapter in your life, like moving out of high school and onto college, or out of college and into the "real-world"?

    Sam: Well, I don't have 11 off the top of my head, but I do have one. It was actually my first Thanksgiving back to Cleveland after college. I was already living in L.A. My parents and I were out and I ran into some store in a mall to grab socks. Until that point, my mom had always bought my basic clothing elements, like socks. That day, she didn't buy the socks. It sounds minor, but it's stuck with me ever since as the moment when it kinda dawned on me that I was out of college. I feel like those kind of things tend to happen with smaller moments more often than larger moments.

    Elliott: Do you have an Android or Apple smart phone?

    Sam: After doing more than three years on Blackberry, I finally made the switch to the new iPhone last month. I love everything about it except how much slower I type. And the fact that everyone seems to have one so every time the text message or email alert rings out you see 20 people all look at their phones.

    Becky: What's your favorite take-out coffee? Dunkin? Starbucks? Something else?

    Sam: I'm not a huge coffee drinker -- it's one of the few vices I've managed to basically avoid. But when I do drink it, I generally go Starbucks. First off, there aren't any Dunkin' Donuts in L.A. -- seriously, it's jarring -- although I do have fond memories of it from when I was in the Midwest.

    Laura: If you could open up a restaurant, what would it be?

    Sam: From everything I've seen, the world of starting a restaurant is a cold, depressing, lonely place. Did anyone watch that show America's Next Great Restaurant? The winner has already had his restaurants shut down in like six months. But I think I would want to start -- as corny as this is -- a Cleveland-themed bar and restaurant in L.A. Mostly because I'd really want to hang out there every day and gain 200 pounds eating Corky and Lenny's corned beef with Stadium Mustard and Pierre's Ice Cream while washing it down with Great Lakes Brewing Company beer (specifically Christmas Ale).

    Honestly, typing that paragraph actually makes me want to start this place now. Anyone got a few hundred grand and want to invest?

    Josh: Were you ever in a band?

    Sam: Only in 7th grade. We were an early version of rap-rock. Mostly because none of us could sing. And I couldn't play an instrument. We wrote some pretty good rhymes though, as I recall.

    Shitmissysays: finally just heard Heavy D passed away...who are your top 11 most influential celebrity deaths of 2011?

    Sam: Let's see... Steve Jobs, Heavy D, Joe Frazier, Andy Rooney, Amy Winehouse, Dr. Kevorkian, Macho Man Randy Savage, Elizabeth Taylor, Nate Dogg, and Bin Laden and Gaddafi.

  5. 12:57 pm

    Jessica: [You said] "why the hell doesn't this ever happen with the teams from Cleveland?" The Indians were pretty good all year until they collapsed in September.

    Sam: That's true, but the Indians were never good-good, they were "let's keep waiting for the other shoe to drop" good. I want a season like the Rams had with Kurt Warner back in the day where they emerge from obscurity and just ride the greatest season ever all the way to a championship.

    Also, this year, the Indians were great for the first 50 games or so, then regressed hard to the mean.

    Zbg333: What has been your favorite It's Always Sunny episode? Mine is probably the Jersey Shore one or CharDee MacDennis.

    Sam: I think CharDee MacDennis is an all-time classic. Not only do I really want to play that game with my friends, but it's vintage Sunny. No plot, no action -- just these five jackasses sitting in the bar all day, in-fighting, teaming up to scheme against each other then screw with each other. It even brought in Charlie's illiteracy again, which is the best running joke ever. It reminds me of the Seinfeld where they spend the entire episode waiting at the Chinese restaurant -- either you get the show or you don't.

    Elliott: Do you find the NBA to be distasteful given recent news?

    Sam: I'm selfishly ok with the NBA lockout. On one hand, I like that it screws LeBron out of a year and, if the season's cancelled, the Cavs will get another great lottery pick without having to suffer through an 18-win season. Also, I hate the way this city shuts down for the Lakers, and I don't miss that at all. When the NBA comes back (and it will come back when the owners finally crush the players, because that's how this is going to go down) I'll watch again -- not turned off by the sport. Strikes and lockouts happen, we forgive, forget, and move on. Like Mark McGwire said on the Simpsons, do you want to hear the horrible truth or do you want to see me sock some dingers?

    Chris: How does Ashton Kutcher think that Joe Pa has been fired for strictly "football related" reason? Is the cast of 3 and half men sequestered like OJ jurors?

    Sam: Never underestimate what it's like being in a celebrity bubble. Thanks to Twitter, we now see their knee-jerk reactions in real time. My personal favorite was when Kim Kardashian tweeted her disgust at the Casey Anthony verdict and Twitter basically exploded with people writing back to her about how her father did the exact same thing for OJ.

    Oh, also, I think the Penn State thing is an unthinkable tragedy. Obviously, it's a little touchy to think about the ramifications on something like college football -- but this could be the moment that sparks a complete overhaul to a sport that was already spiraling out of control. Remember after the Chris Benoit murders? That began the process that switched the WWE to being a PG, family-friendly product again and basically overhauled the entire business. With this Penn State tragedy, we're no longer in the territory of Ohio State or Miami giving kids illegal benefits, tattoos and cars. Or even prostitutes. This is a whole different universe and a whole different magnifying glass.

    MadMolecule: What's your opinion on Fermat's Last Theorem and that British guy who solved it back in the 90s?

    Sam: Um... pro?

    Elise: But what are your thoughts on Matt Groening's other masterpiece, Futurama? And can my friend Sheridyn and I get our names in the awesome pink writing on your site? She's the one friend that I have that also reads your blog as much as I do, maybe more!

    Sam: Absolutely, Elise and Sheridyn. People ask me about Futurama a lot and I always have the same basic stance. For whatever reason, I've never been able to get into it. I've given it a ton of tries, and it never, ever sticks. I have no idea why or what the problem is -- my only thought is that it's some kind of Uncanny Valley thing.

    For those not familiar, the Uncanny Valley is the phenomenon where we don't like to look at robots/animation/etc. that look close, but not exactly, like humans because that repulses us. So maybe my beef with Futurama is that is closely resembles The Simpsons but it isn't... and that drives me away.

    Shwin: Hi Sam. Long time listener, first time caller. What are your opinions on America's Hat(Canada)?

    Sam: Love it. I've got a weird thing for Canada. In fact, on Friday, my friends and I briefly discussed the viability of doing a cross-Canada roadtrip, from Vancouver to Prince Edward Island. We'd follow the Only Road, of course. Ultimately it was deemed a horrible idea. But it still fits in with my Canada affinity. Also, I think I would be awesome at curling.

  6. 1:20 pm

    Ewing Theory: I love this season of Always Sunny too, but "Frank's Brother" is unequivocally their worst episode ever, right?

    Sam: It's interesting. I didn't really love it, but I didn't hate it the way people seemed to. And my friend Bruce loved it and thought it was incredible. In general, I think Sunny is at its weakest when they leave modern day (or sometimes when they bring in the McPoyles). As for the all-time worst, I'm not sure, I thought Who Pooped the Bed? was kind of a disaster a few years back.

    Brian: I recently turned 21 in October. I was part of very small minority that waited to drink until I turned 21. As a result, I haven't gotten used to the taste of beer yet. So do you have any suggestions for non-beer drinks to try until I can get used to the taste of beer? I will be sure to dedicate any that you suggest in your honor.

    Sam: One hint: Don't try to eat food with the beer. That just makes things worse. I would say the best way to ease in would be to start with a cider, like Strongbow. Then quickly transition to Blue Moon or Hefeweizen -- wheat beers that taste good. Don't be ashamed to put a slice of orange in them. From there, go to a really light beer with minimal taste, like Michelob Ultra or Coors Light. From there, transition to other beer.

    John: Do you still watch the simpsons, even if out of morbid curiosity?

    Sam: Yes, I still watch, although, admittedly, not religiously. And when I watch, it's on Hulu -- I haven't watched a new episode on TV in at least a year.

    John: Do you think our ability to watch shows whenever we want on the internet - removing a lot of the COMMITMENT that goes into being a fan of a show - will allow some shows to stay on the air a little longer?

    Sam: I think you nailed it: It's a double-edged sword. There are shows I watch and I have no idea exactly when they're on. Like, what time does Parks and Recreation air? I have no idea. Sometime on Thursday between 8 and 11. So the commitment level, to that extent, isn't there. But I do think that DVR and Internet viewing are going to save shows -- especially now that networks are taking those stats into account. (And ratings even incorporate DVR viewings.) To preemptively answer the follow-up... yes, I think if Arrested Development had come out six years later it would've been saved by new media.

    TheGIGGAS_OS: who are your favorite characters on TV?

    Sam: I'm currently a big fan of Tom on Parks and Rec, Andre on The League, and I think Mac and Dennis are carrying the load this year on Sunny. Charlie Day is becoming the most famous -- movie roles, hosting SNL -- but the overexposure seems to actually be hurting the Charlie character a little bit. Since he plays that character everywhere. Meanwhile Mac and Dennis keep getting funnier. Especially Fat Mac.

    Prince: Did you watch south park this year?

    Sam: I've watched this half-season, as always, but I don't know that I've loved it. The most recent one, mocking the History Channel and aliens, wasn't so hot. I feel like they missed a little opportunity on the episode about the 1%. Butters as a Mexican leader (and the brilliant statements on immigration and a "better life" in America) was easily the best episode so far.

  7. 1:40 pm

    Villan87: today is also National Metal day! Favorite rock band and/or rock song?

    Sam: What ISN'T today? Unusual choice, but one of my favorite songs ever: Can't You See by The Marshall Tucker Band.

    Wesleymead: Any chance of a Top 11 Christmas TV Episodes/Specials? I love holiday TV so damn much.

    Sam: I've definitely considered doing that, but I don't quite have the breadth of knowledge necessary to do it right. I have this perfectionism streak about these lists where I like to make sure the research I've done is exhaustive. And I'm not sure I can even rattle off 11 Christmas episodes (other than the Simpsons and South Park ones). Maybe I'll do 11 best Simpsons and South Park Christmas episodes. I do feel qualified to speak on that.

    Barloq: What are your 11 favourite Simpsons episodes?

    Sam: Unfortunately I can't answer that in this format. I do plan to address that one day, but only after incredible amounts of soul searching and research. I would guess that the power plant strike episode and Monorail episode obviously make it, though.

    Bram: can we all agree that Jack and Jill is the worst thing Sandler has done? Little Nicky is alright.

    Sam: Jack and Jill looks like one of the movies that Sandler was making fun of in Funny People. For what it's worth, I briefly considered spending today live blogging a viewing of Jack and Jill but decided against it because I wanted today to be happy.

    TrebuShea: It seems like "111111" is binary for "?," but that might have been the translator being confused. Either way, the moral and practical implications are just staggering.

    Sam: I can't even comprehend the implications.

    Bramb600: Would you ever consider a pet giraffe? I think that would be cool.

    Sam: Oh sure, it's cool until you catch him sleeping with your wife.

  8. 1:51 pm

    Elise: Do people recognize you on the street? If I did, what would you do?

    Sam: I've been recognized a grand total of two times. Both times I just started laughing at the absolute ridiculousness of being recognized. If you recognized me, I would most likely be so flattered that I would stop beating up whomever I was attacking at the moment.

    celestialaly12: ron swanson is the best character on parks and rec. btw i love fat mac too

    Sam: Ron Swanson gets the lifetime achievement award, for sure, but I haven't found myself as obsessed with him this year. The episode where he rolled over for his first Tammy wife felt too out-of-character for me, and the episode where he went around fixing things at the Halloween party almost felt like a buzzkill.

    My least favorite character on the show is April, by the way, with Ann Perkins second. My favorite minor character is Jean-Ralphio.

    Cos111: did you make a wish at 11:11:11????!!!!!!!

    Sam: I did, but I just wished for three more wishes, because I was told that's the only thing you ever wish for. So now I have those and I don't know what to do with them. I guess I'll use them to wish for more wishes.

    Jemgillam: Did you know that today is corduroy day? Apparently 11/11/11 looks like cords. Will you be wearing three cord items to celebrate?

    Sam: 11/11/11 -- is there anything it CAN'T be? I believe I only own two corduroy items though, so that's the most I could do. I'm not a big cord guy.

    Sam: I'm going to wrap up in about an hour!

    Rachel: This isn't really relevant to 11/11/11, but ages ago (I just checked, and it's been almost exactly two years), you did a list of 11 dirty moments that slipped past the censors... My dad caught this in an old Bugs Bunny cartoon when we were little kids, and, because our parents have never had a great grasp of or appreciation for age-appropriate content, he rewound the tape and played it on slow several times so my Mom and all of his offspring could see it, too.



    Sam: To me it look like a penis to me, all you gotta do is look up in the tree, who all seen the penis say YEAHHH!

    Also, sadly, that list of 11 moments that slipped past the censors has a bunch of broken videos now -- because I posted those clips, YouTube shut down my account, and I can't find where I saved the clips on any hard drive, so I can't repost them until I sit down and find them again. Really disappointing. It's not clear to me how other people post every single TV show and song in history on YouTube and don't get shut down and I got bounced for having 11 short clips, but that's the draconian world of Google.

  9. 2:05 pm

    LadyWolfram: Are you a fan of the Critic and if so, how much does it cost per jug of Blotto Bros. Wine?

    Sam: I am a Critic fan -- I've been using his "Buy My Book" cutout in the banner ad for my book on top of this website for 5+ months now -- but not hardcore enough to get the reference. Is it weird that whenever I don't get a reference I feel emasculated?

    Sam: Live blogging is quite an endeavor. I've been going so quickly that I just stood up for the first time in over three hours. Felt weird.

    Hanemarw: What would you say was the defining moment of your 11th year of life?

    Sam: Let's see... I turned 11 in 1990, that would've been sixth grade. Is it sad that my first instinct was the Hart Foundation winning the tag titles from Demolition in a best of three falls match at SummerSlam? Probably. More accurately, I started in a brand new school for middle school. Also, I think that's when slap bracelets came out, I was all about those.

    Teddy: So I had a recent heated discussion with a female friend about why guys are funnier than girls, and specifically why guy comedians are almost always funnier than girl comedians. What's your take on this?

    Sam: Back when I was doing stand-up comedy I thought about this a lot and came to one big conclusion. As a society, one of the gender roles we still cling on to is that we want to "protect" women. Stand-up is all about someone making a clown of themselves to make people laugh -- and often drawing from a painful personal place to do so. I think that society has made it harder for us to accept watching a woman do that than a man. When we see a woman sharing her pain and acting like a fool, our biological instinct isn't "That's funny"... it's "Oh my God, I've got to rescue her." And that affects our perception of female comics.

    Or maybe women just aren't as funny. Either way.

    Paddy: I know you are a big fan of Arrested Development, do you watch Archer at all, and if so what do you think of it?

    Sam: I watched two episodes and just never watched a third. I can generally tell how I truly feel about a show by whether or not I prioritize watching it. Like this year -- I kinda liked the pilot of Terra Nova but could never bring myself to click on it and watch the second episode. Therefore, I know I really don't like the show. I guess that's what's going on with Archer too.

    Mdawg: What are your feelings on Joe Paterno? I feel like he is getting way too much blame just because he is the big name at Penn State.

    Sam: I addressed some Penn State stuff a little earlier. As for Paterno specifically, this comes with the territory. He's the big name, he gets the big attention. And his hands are not clean of this. Every single person up and down the line messed up horribly, him included. He makes at least three times more than the school president, he's going to get three times more heat.

    Alimae: Wasting wishes on wishing reminds me of a Shel Silverstein poem! Are/were you a fan?

    Sam: I was never a huge Shel Silverstein fan, only because he was so forced on us as kids. Instead of rebelling against my parents and The Machine by smoking cigarettes or smoking drugs, I rebelled by not reading Shel Silverstein.

    Katherine: Thoughts on curly-headed girls going au naturale and letting their curly flags fly?

    Sam: Studies (and anecdotal evidence) have overwhelmingly shown that guys prefer straight hair to curly. Should you live your life trying to do what guys want? No. Is that going to secretly factor in to many, many decisions? Absolutely.

    Steve: I don't want a dog my wife does;I told her we can get one as long as I get to name him Pie Man.Isn't this a reasonable compromise?

    Sam: When I was staying at your condo three weeks ago I told you it was a reasonable compromise and I stand by that. Good to see you back on Twitter, buddy. I didn't put your entire name here so it wouldn't be indexed by Google. Get a dog named Pie Man already.

  10. 2:28 pm

    Manbabies: Which time travel theory do you agree with, Terminator 1 looping/causation or Terminator 2 multiple time lines?

    Sam: I've always been a loop/causation guy. In other words, the Back to the Future model of time travel, NOT the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban model. And I will fight this one hard.

    AlyssaJoy22: What are your favorite places to eat in Cleveland?

    Sam: Unfortunately some of the best ones are gone. I will still always want to do Corky and Lenny's, Jack's Deli, or Slyman's. On the occasions when I venture to the westside, Steve's Gyros at the West Side Market. I like Aladdin's too. I'm a huge fan of Pierre's Ice Cream, as previously mentioned. I also grab some Skyline Chili, which is technically Cincinnati's, but I don't go there very often. And finally, East Coast Custard is an absolute staple.

    Oh... and, of course, I mostly eat homecooked meals by my parents. Who still make some of the best duck and best noodle kugel this side of China and Israel, respectively.

    Corey: Hi Sam! Do you have any favorite non-comedy shows? Perhaps something dramatic, like Dexter; nerdy, like Firefly; or embarrassing, like Grey's Anatomy?

    Sam: I do. I was a big Lost fan and big Shield fan. I've also made no secret of my deep, deep affinity for Law & Order: SVU. Recently I watched three seasons of Damages but that thing is ridiculous and since the fourth season is only available via DirecTV and not even for purchase on iTunes, I checked out. I also have gotten into Criminal Minds reruns on ION, somewhat because I love that Fat Tony is the lead FBI agent. I gave up on Dexter after a few seasons. I started this year by enjoying Unforgettable and Person of Interest but I've kinda given up on both of them.

    Sam: Sorry, took a quick break to give some quick love to the dog.



  11. 2:45 pm

    TheGIGGAS_OS: What's the thing you've taken from writing the book and selling it? Has it been as exciting as you wanted it to be?

    Sam: Well, I wanted it to be the best-selling book of all time that even outsold the writings of Mao, so on that front I guess it fell a little short. But it was a great experience. The book is still selling pretty well... I think it's about halfway to being a bestseller... and, unlike a movie, the sales can go on and on for a while and don't just have to happen in the first few weeks.

    ApplePieNinja: Question for the final 15 minutes: do you ever watch Anime?

    Sam: I do not. Never have. Think it's one of those things that I missed by being just a little too old. Anime, Pokemon, mixed martial arts, the appeal of Kristen Stewart -- I'm half a generation too old.

    sarkasticwiz: how depressed are you that this is probably the last binary day you'll ever see? I know my heart is heavy.

    Sam: Scale of one to 11? Five.

    MikaelLevin: Are you plotting a 'next big idea'? If so, what is it?

    I have a couple of things about to burst, yes. I don't want to jinx anything, but the next few months could be really great. What I can announce now is that I'm officially now partnered up with MyDamnChannel, which is a very, very exciting partnership for me. Partnering up with a major video content site that shares my exact sense and style of humor, where could that lead? Hmm...



    WesleyMead: Any ideas for a second book? The first was pretty good, you know.

    Sam: Yes, in fact one is being cooked up right now. I'm not supposed to say what it is, but it's another topic that's primarily geared at an audience younger than myself. It's another 11 Points book mixing the list format with humor and advice. And unfortunately, it won't be coming out for a while -- I would get a deal in January at the earliest because we have to wait until the sales numbers for my book are officially tallied up in December. (When you've got a book like mine and you're not a world-famous author, you don't get real time sales numbers.) Of course, there's a chance it may never materialize...

OK everyone! Four hours and I am wiped! Thanks for all your questions -- I never had any kind of lull -- and I'm sorry that I didn't get to all of them. I'm off to do whatever it is I do. Have a great 11/11/11 -- only happens once a century, you know.


This post was originally published on Friday, November 11, 2011 at 11:11:11 AM under the category Personal.

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