"I'm training for a triathlon."Sure, now you're 30... you haven't gotten in any non-hot tub pool in six years... if you squeezed into a Speedo now even a European man would give you a disapproving look... AND you have enough body hair that it'd cost you $300 in razor blades to shave it all off... but, yeah, triathlon. Shouldn't be too tough.
"Oh wow, that's really ambitious!"
"Yeah... well, not for me, I mean, I lettered in swimming all four years."
|Age||Judgment for males||Judgment for females|
|14 or younger||You're a legend, whispered about two towns over.||Catholic school.|
|15||Stud.||A bit early, but your older boyfriend probably pressured you.|
|16||Driver's license was worth every penny.||You switched groups of friends shortly thereafter.|
|17||Got a little nervous there, huh?||Didn't want to go to college a virgin.|
|18||Now you've got to break up with your high school girlfriend at Thanksgiving.||Now you've got to passive aggressively try to make your high school boyfriend break up with you at Thanksgiving.|
|19||Your friends can lay off you now.||Your friends can lay off you now.|
|20||You've finally grown into your body and wrangled a girlfriend.||Now that the lid's off that jar, prepare for quite a year.|
|21||Freshmen girls love people who buy them wine coolers.||Didn't want to leave college a virgin.|
|22 or older||Time to go to the Bunny Ranch just to take the pressure off.||Time to lower your standards.|
"Who's going to give the presentation about the Jenkins account to the investors tomorrow."Might as well get your clubs tattooed on your arm, because they're with you for life.
"Well, Nathan played Harold Hill when his high school did 'Music Man'..."
"So Ronnie, if you're turning 30, you must've graduated high school in... 1997?"And then poor Ronnie has to explain how he got put into the special class where they only have circles of paper and play musical chairs with more chairs than kids... and it's all because he needed glasses and once they figured that out he went on to become a successful chiropractor or something.
"Um... no, '98 actually."
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