Email list
11 Points
11 Points Guide To Hooking Up
11 Decidedly Unintimidating College Mascots
written by Sam Greenspan

College football season kicks off today, so I thought I'd bust out a college sports-themed list.

While most schools opt for an intimidating, ferocious mascot ("Who are we? The Wildcats! Who are we gonna beat? The Wildcats!"), occasionally, things don't shake out quite that way. These are 11 colleges and universities across the U.S. with very unintimidating mascots.
  1. University of Pennsylvania Quakers.



    Because nothing says "intimidation" like a mascot from a religion founded on pacifism. They're even less intimidating than the Bombay State Gandhis.

  2. Delta State (MS) University Fighting Okra



    Delta State's official mascot was supposed to be the Statesman. The students made a huge push to get the Fighting Okra a co-credit because they felt that... a statesman wasn't intimidating enough. Are people in Mississippi more afraid of vegetables than of the government? I think right now, statistics show they're not big fans of either.

  3. Concordia (MN) College Cobbers (featuring Kernal the Cobber)



    I actually know a guy who went to Concordia College. Somehow he never mentioned the mascot. Perhaps because an angry ear of corn isn't going to scare off any opponents, it's just going butter them up. (Whatever. I don't think puns are corny. Aw shucks, I did it again.)

  4. Whittier (CA) College Poets.



    Whittier is named after a poet, John Greenleaf Whittier. And if that mascot is to be believed, he was one very angry poet. Had he lived today, even with that square jaw and Gaston-esque sneer, he totally would've ended up a goth kid.

  5. Youngstown State (OH) Penguins.



    I like that they have two penguins and they appear to be in love. Penguins might be one of the most universally adored animals, just ahead of pandas and droopy dogs (and four thousand steps above silverfish and Manimal). They're beloved; and just not a scary mascot. (It's why no one's afraid to play the Linux programmers in basketball.)

  6. University of Texas at Dallas Comets.



    I get that it's supposed to resemble a trail of Space Fire coming out of his head, but I strongly question the decision to make the mascot a ginger.

  7. Texas A&M University - Corpus Christi Islanders, featuring Izzy the Islander.



    The nickname isn't the non-sequitur it initially appears to be; TAMU-CC is actually on Ward Island in Corpus Christi. That being said, Ward Island is much more a "naval base" kind of island and much less a "tiki torches, hula and wooden masks" kind of island. If the green eyebrows don't seal the mascot's fate on this list, the grass skirt does.

  8. University of North Carolina School of the Arts Fighting Pickles.



    Even though UNCSA doesn't have any official athletic teams, they still swear by this mascot. I guess he goes and cheers at chess matches or debates. A buck-toothed pickle hardly strikes fear in anyone's heart. Except maybe this woman...



    (I've mentioned her once before, on the old list 11 Awesome Phobias, In Photos and Videos. The video still blows my mind every time.)

  9. Scottsdale (AZ) Community College Fighting Artichokes.



    Apparently, in the late '70s, the students voted in this mascot as a way of making the school's sports department as unattractive as possible to prospective athletes. They were afraid that Scottsdale Community College was going to take funds and channel them into making the school a sports powerhouse -- ya know, like most community colleges (?) -- so they voted in the artichoke. It just beat out the Rutabagas.

    Anyway, for more on the art of choking see James, LeBron.

  10. Webster (MO) University Gorloks.



    What's a gorlok? It's a mythical creature. Why have you never heard of it? Because the myth was created... and now only exists... at Webster University. A gorlok has the paws of a cheetah (for speed), the horns of a buffalo (for toughness) and the face of a Saint Bernard (for, uh, licking?)

    Even with all of that put together, intimidation doesn't set in when you have to ask "Wait... what is that thing again?" It's the same problem that Manbearpig always seems to have.

  11. Franklin & Marshall (PA) College Diplomats.



    Weird, I never thought Waldorf and Statler's comments were even REMOTELY diplomatic.

Apologies to the Banana Slugs, Orangemen, Boll Weevils, Volunteers, Stanford Tree, Horned Frog, WKU lazy red hill, and many others who juuuuust missed the cut.

This list was originally published on Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports.
It currently has View Comments.

Facebookery?
11 Best, Ugliest Mascots in Sports

11 Random Facts About the 11 Most Popular Dr Seuss Books

11 Very Strange Ways China's Preparing to Host the Olympics

11 Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made)

11 Least Popular Sports in the World

Archive of all Sports lists

Totally Unexpected But Brilliantly Useful Online Dating Statistical Insights
11 Totally Unexpected But Brilliantly Useful Online Dating Statistical Insights
Published Tuesday, August 26, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Dating & Sex
Book Covers Turned Risque by Bad Price Tag Placement
11 Book Covers Turned Risque by Bad Price Tag Placement
Published Friday, August 22, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Books
Tattoos People Regret Getting the Most
11 Tattoos People Regret Getting the Most
Published Wednesday, August 20, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
Things Men Should Stop Wearing As an Adult - 11 Points Countdown
11 Things Men Should Stop Wearing As an Adult - 11 Points Countdown
Published Monday, August 18, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Countdown
Absurdly Comical Video Game Console Knockoffs
11 Absurdly Comical Video Game Console Knockoffs
Published Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games
Comedies That Deserved Oscar Nominations - 11 Points Countdown
11 Comedies That Deserved Oscar Nominations - 11 Points Countdown
Published Monday, August 11, 2014 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Countdown
Full Archive



Follow
Mailing list
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
Pinterest
Instagram
RSS

Categories
Dating & Sex lists
Books lists
Misc lists
Countdown lists
Games lists
Food & Drink lists
News & Politics lists
Music lists
Movies lists
Web & Tech lists
TV lists
Sports lists
Travel lists
Personal lists
Interviews lists
Full archive

Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS