11 Points

11 Surreally Comical Old School NFL Posters
written by Sam Greenspan

This is my third post in my tribute to the lost art of awkward sports posters. (I've previously covered the best old school posters from MLB and the NBA.)

The primary purveyors of surreal sports posters in the '80s and '90s were the Costacos Bros. I don't know their back story, so let's say they were two Portuguese immigrants who really enjoyed costumes, puns, and hearing pro athletes say, "I guess I'll do that, but damn, I need to fire my agent."

The Costacos Bros. produced tons of sports posters during their glory years -- where their odd taste intersected with the popular aesthetic -- not only featuring superstars, but also benchwarmers, journeymen and unsung hog molly types. Here are 11 of the best NFL posters they ever produced.
  1. Kansas City Chiefs: The Tribe



    Yeah, it's hard to imagine they'd sell a poster like this today. Or manufacture this poster. Or even suggest this poster in a brainstorming session where "there are no wrong answers."

  2. John Rienstra: The Raging Rhino

    When you're an offensive lineman and someone says, "Hey, we want to make a poster of you," you say, "Absolutely" -- even if that means you have to put on humiliating rhinoceros-style shoulder pads and leg warmers. Creative control is for the pretty boys in the glory positions.

  3. Christian Okoye: Nigerian Nightmare

    Somehow, I'm betting this poster haunts Christian Okoye's dreams more than his running ability ever haunted anyone defensive player's dreams.

  4. Dan Marino: Armed & Dangerous

    It's a fine line between Dan Marino: Armed & Dangerous and Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous -- and the high-waisted Zubaz pants and bright blue Corvette are completely blurring that line for me.

  5. Dan Majkowski: Magik Man

    Yes, his best magic trick was disappearing after Brett Favre got to town... but clearly his second-best magic trick is this ball levitation move. How is it floating in the air like that!?! HOW?!?

  6. Jim Everett and O-Line: General Blade and the 11th Commando Battalion

    I don't like to play the "well that looks like the cover of 1,500 different gay pornos" card that often, but in a case this blatant, it would almost be condescending NOT to mention it.

  7. Curt Warner: The Blade Runner

    Curt Warner has that look on his face that says, "This costume is horrible, but things could be worse. At least there's not some guy with the same name as me who's bagging groceries right now but will one day go on to become an NFL legend."

  8. Jim McMahon and Walter Payton: Chicago Vice

    I had to include this because these are two pretty famous athletes willing to fully commit to the bit. Plus it's nice looking at a poster from the era where no one thought it would cause an image problem for the players to be holding guns.

  9. Brian Bosworth: The Land of Boz

    I know why they wanted to make the Wizard of Oz pun here, but I think they're a little confused. Boz's character beats up the Tin Man, de-limbs the Scarecrow, crushes the Witch, seduces Dorothy and has a munchkin take his blended last name. Is he supposed to be the Wizard? The Cowardly Lion gone rogue? How does a shirt that says "Monster D.B." play into this? I think I just gave this poster more thought than the people who designed it.

  10. Chicago Bears linebackers: Bermuda Triangle

    Mike Singletary deserved better than this -- unflattering Bermuda shorts, ugly tank top, sacked quarterback with corny googly eyes. I mean -- Otis Wilson and Wilber Marshall deserved better than this. Everyone in Chicago Bears history deserved better than this. Cade McNown deserved better than this.

  11. Mark Lee: General Lee

    I think you'd have to say a poster featuring a black NFL player dressed up as a confederate Civil War general is THE most offensive poster they ever made. Can you imagine if this happened today? People on Twitter would set a record for the amount of time they were outraged before they moved on to be outraged by something else -- 16 minutes!


This post was originally published on Tuesday, October 22, 2013 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports.

Facebookery?
11 Surreally Comical Old School MLB Posters

11 Surreally Comical Old School NBA Posters

11 Gloriously Funny TV Sports Graphics

11 Results For the Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All Of Which I Actually Made)

11 Defunct College Bowls That Sound Awesome

Archive of all Sports posts
11 Photos of Older Folks Charmingly Confused by Technology
11 Photos of Older Folks Charmingly Confused by Technology
Published Friday, July 22, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Web & Tech
Coke Once Made a Clear Cola That Was Intentionally Terrible to Take Down Crystal Pepsi
Coke Once Made a Clear Cola That Was Intentionally Terrible to Take Down Crystal Pepsi
Published Thursday, July 21, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
The 11 Grossest Things People Do in Public (According to a Study, and According to Me)
The 11 Grossest Things People Do in Public (According to a Study, and According to Me)
Published Wednesday, July 20, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Personal
How I Started Winning at Gambling When I Finally Bet Against Myself
How I Started Winning at Gambling When I Finally Bet Against Myself
Published Tuesday, July 19, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games
11 Great Photos of Ironic Accidents
11 Great Photos of Ironic Accidents
Published Monday, July 18, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel
11 Pieces of Evidence the Grinch Was Dr. Seuss's Autobiography
11 Pieces of Evidence the Grinch Was Dr. Seuss's Autobiography
Published Friday, July 15, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Books
Full Archive



Follow
Mailing list
Twitter
Facebook
YouTube
Pinterest
Instagram
RSS

Categories
Web & Tech
Food & Drink
Personal
Games
Travel
Books
Misc
Dating & Sex
News & Politics
Music
TV
Sports
Countdown
Interviews
Movies
Full archive

Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS