11 Points

All 30 MLB Teams' Official Hashtags, Ranked From Bad to Worse
written by Sam Greenspan

Today is Opening Day in baseball. Well, sort of. There were games yesterday, so it was Opening Day, but today is too. And I suppose that's fine, since nothing happens when it's supposed to happen anymore: The Fall Classic now goes deep into winter, March Madness wraps up in April, the NFL Draft is three days long, and the 2013 Baseketball NBA Playoffs are on pace to end sometime around next December (I think LeBron and Miami are going to win it all).

And with the start of baseball, Twitter just revealed all 30 Major League Baseball teams' official hashtags. If you use these specific hashtags, a special emoji of the team's logo will appear next to it.

Unfortunately, virtually all of the hashtags smack of either 15 suits spending three full days around a whiteboard. (With a few exceptions, that I'll get into.)



Here are all 30 official MLB hashtags for 2017, ranked from mediocre to terrible.

  1. #RaysUp - Tampa Bay Rays. A viable rallying cry that's also a pun? Bravo, Tampa Bay. Who says small market teams can't compete for the best marketing interns?

  2. #ThisIsMyCrew - Milwaukee Brewers. It's a little long, but it plays off the well-established "Brew Crew" nickname and shouldn't make fans recoil as they use it.

  3. #LetsGoBucs - Pittsburgh Pirates. Inexplicably, the Pirates are the only team, out of 30, that went for an Occam's razor hashtag. LetsGo plus a well-established, popular, commonly-used nickname. Everyone else either tried to be too cute or didn't get creative enough.

  4. #LetsRise - Toronto Blue Jays. This hashtag gets the fourth spot, basically, for being perfectly fine. Not inspired. Not terrible. Just fine.

  5. #RockiesEveryday - Colorado Rockies. Almost makes Rockies fandom sound like a chore.

  6. #TheHaloWay - Los Angeles Angels. I'm not sure any fans will use this hashtag, but it's more or less passable.

  7. #RootedInOakland - Oakland A's. So apparently the A's strategy for rallying their fanbase this year is to remind them the Raiders and Warriors are leaving? "Hey you, guy with the head tattoo, come on by. You got no one left to cheer for!"

  8. #RallyTogether - Cleveland Indians. It's a bit generic, but it does inoffensively sum up the team's gum-and-shoelaces 2016 playoff run and fans' Cleveland-vs.-All mentality.

  9. #WeAreSF - San Francisco Giants. Literally as I was working on this list, I saw a Giants fan on Twitter talking about yesterday's game and using the hashtag "#GoGiants."

  10. #ChopOn - Atlanta Braves. Cleveland seems to have consciously avoided words that could evoke any Native American imagery in its hashtag. Atlanta, on the other hand -- no qualms!

  11. #GoPhils - Philadelphia Phillies. The hashtag is more or less fine, but I think it will lose some of its trending potential by fans using the similar, logical, but officially incorrect #GoPhillies instead.

  12. #SoxGameday - Chicago White Sox. It could be a tough year for the Chicago White Sox, but if they keep using this hashtag, maybe Lee Corso and Desmond Howard will broadcast from outside their stadium on a week with so-so SEC games.

  13. #BirdLand - Baltimore Orioles. From a brief investigation, it appears the Orioles (and occasionally the media or the fans) do use the term "Birdland." It doesn't seem particularly common, though, so this may be a "trying to make 'fetch' happen" situation.

  14. #BronxBombersAreBack - New York Yankees. Why couldn't they just go with "#BronxBombers"? It's classic, tight and actually sends the same message without needing to add the extraneous words "AreBack."

  15. #OurSeason - Arizona Diamondbacks. And sure, said season will probably wind up around .500, but it's OURS.

  16. #LGM - New York Mets. I'm pretty sure if they checked Craigslist's Casual Encounters, they'd find the acronym LGM stands for something other than "Let's Go Mets."

  17. #LetsGoDodgers - Los Angeles Dodgers. Ultra generic.

  18. #LetsGoPadres - San Diego Padres. Ultra generic, and little brother-ish to Los Angeles.

  19. #LetsGoFish - Miami Marlins. Quite the contract to Pittsburgh's "#LetsGoBucs." I'm pretty sure the Marlins fans haven't embraced the "Fish" nickname, although I haven't spoken to either of them recently.

  20. #STLCards - St. Louis Cardinals. "Let's just use our team name, but throw the city abbreviation on there to make it harder to remember."

  21. #MNTwins - Minnesota Twins. "Hey, good idea, Cardinals."

  22. #Astros - Houston Astros. If The Simpsons did a bit where characters picked their own hashtag, Ralph would most likely go with #Ralph. The Astros are, apparently, Ralph Wiggum.

  23. #Reds - Cincinnati Reds. So are the Reds.

  24. #Nats - Washington Nationals. So are the Nationals, but they're Ralph giving himself the nickname "Ral."

  25. #RaisedRoyal - Kansas City Royals. Ask yourself: Will ANY fan (1) remember or (2) actually use this hashtag? In this case, they probably should've just gone "#Royals."

  26. #WelcomeBackBaseball - Seattle Mariners. This is comically generic -- and way worse than just going with "#Mariners." Are they trying to capitalize on people tweeting "#WelcomeBackBaseball," then seeing the Mariners logo show up, thinking, "Hmm, you know what, I SHOULD become a Mariners fan"? Because that seems... unlikely.

  27. #LonestarGrit - Texas Rangers. It's like the opposite of Seattle. Instead of going too generic, Texas went to the other extreme: An attempt at an overthought, two-word parochial poem.

  28. #WinDanceRepeat - Boston Red Sox. There's so much wrong to unpack here. First, no one refers to the World Series as the "Big Dance." That's what people call March Madness. Or the Dancing With the Stars finale, probably. It's not like a team wins the World Series and Joe Buck starts screaming, "They've gone dancing!" Second, the Red Sox don't have anything to repeat. They didn't win last year, so what are they repeating? A first-round playoff exit? They tend to go anywhere from three to 96 years between "repeating" championships. Third, they just spent $1 billion on pitchers and ripped off their slogan from a shampoo bottle.

  29. #ThatsCub - Chicago Cubs. You just won your first championship in more than a century. How do you celebrate? Apparently by crafting a marketing slogan that's like a poor ripoff of That's So Raven. Their fans all already use the hashtag "#FlyTheW." Was this really the moment in franchise history to reinvent the wheel?

  30. #WhosYourTiger - Detroit Tigers. Um... am I supposed to cheer for you or let you have your way with me?


This post was originally published on Monday, April 3, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports.

Facebookery?
A Weird New T-Shirt Line Awkwardly Mashes Up NFL Teams and Musicians

11 Splendidly Bad 'Sports Illustrated' Predictions from the '90s

11 Most Clever Alterations Sports Fans Have Made to Jerseys

11 Mind Blowing (and Often Offensive) High School Mascots

11 Fantastic Olympics Trivia Facts to Impress Your Friends But Also Perhaps Curious Strangers

Archive of all Sports posts
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
Published Wednesday, July 26, 2017 at 10:00:00 AM under the category Books
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
Published Thursday, July 6, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
Published Thursday, June 22, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
Published Friday, June 9, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
11 Nintendo Video Game Systems, Ranked By How Many Games They Got
11 Nintendo Video Game Systems, Ranked By How Many Games They Got
Published Friday, June 2, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
11 Songs That Just List Off a Whole Bunch of Cities
Published Friday, May 19, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS