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written by Sam Greenspan

I review 11 new fall TV shows, and to challenge myself, I try to sum them up in 11 words.

I wanted to review some new shows from this fall’s primetime offerings, and I’ve been wanting to test out this 11-word review concept for a while, and that’s how we arrived at this.

Although this list is short, these 121 words are some of the hardest I’ve had to write on this site. Trying to jam something insightful and (maybe) funny into 11 words without getting too abstract turned out to be one hell of a writing challenge. I learned just how hard extreme brevity can be. I also learned that I don’t watch anything on ABC.

Because of the short length, I couldn’t use my trademark pink highlights without jamming it up, so this post will be uncomfortably highlight-free.

Here are 11-word summaries of 11 new fall TV shows. Two of which have already been cancelled, but whatever. They’re ranked from my least favorite new show to most favorite new show.

11 | 2 Broke Girls (CBS)

Like a SASSSSSSY American Idol auditioner: Without talent, it’s unwatchably obnoxious.

10 | The Playboy Club (NBC)

Think of the children! Protect them from… oh wait, zero nudity.

9 | Whitney (NBC)

If we all tell Whitney, “OK, you’re sexy,” maybe show’ll develop.

8 | X Factor (FOX)

Answer so far: No, we don’t need another one of these.

7 | How to Be a Gentleman (CBS)

How did Rickety Cricket, Johnny Drama time travel into 1991 sitcom?

6 | Terra Nova (FOX)

Lost meets Jurassic meets Avatar meets dinosaur animators hired off Craigslist.

5 | Prime Suspect (NBC)

Are male cops REALLY willing to botch cases to spite woman?

4 | Up All Night (NBC)

Tremendous writing, Will Arnett overcome horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible premise.

3 | Unforgettable (CBS)

Intriguing… but main character’s TOO perfect. Makes me feel mentally impotent.

2 | New Girl (FOX)

Three episodes in, Zooey’s shtick charming, surprisingly funny. After 50, 100…?

1 | Person of Interest (CBS)

Emerson manipulates like Lost‘s Linus; Caviezel saves like ass-kicking Jesus.