11 Points

11 Businesses Whose Names Are Absurdly Nerdy Puns
written by Sam Greenspan

I love people who name their businesses with a pun. Not just because I love puns, but because I love people who are willing to gamble their financial stability and success on one.

These puns take it to the next level.

Here are 11 American businesses that went all-in on a pun that's so nerdy, only a modest slice (at best) of their potential customers would appreciate it. But we can appreciate it, even from afar. (And even though, most likely, none of us will ever patronize any of these.) Isn't that what a nerdy business name pun is really about?
  1. Venus de Milo Arms apartment building, Hayward, California



    This is just about the most perfect name for an apartment building I've ever seen. And sure, the place has a one-star rating but isn't it worth it to deal with "fights and even gunshots six nights a week" when you're living in such a comical wonderland?

  2. Thelonoius Monkfish sushi restaurant, Cambridge, Massachusetts



    The owner recently blogged about why he chose the name: "I did because I love jazz and I love a good pun! ... we use the term jazz as a metaphor for great-tasting food with seemingly incongruous ingredients that harmonize when used together in a dish."

    Or, as an early review put it, "The food was great, but the name is hideous."

  3. Subpar Miniature Golf Almeda, California



    It takes balls to name your business after a pun; it takes extra balls to name it after a pun that makes your business sound terrible.

  4. Baroque Violin Shop musical instrument repair, Cincinnati, Ohio



    This is an organic enough pun that I'm not entirely sure I would've even realized it was a pun if I just quickly passed it on the street. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

  5. Rimsky-Korsakoffee House Portland, Oregon



    Like so much in Portland, it's just trying slightly too hard.

  6. Professor Plumb plumber, San Francisco, California



    I've never actively rooted for someone to be a murderer, but man I sure hope one day he kills one of his clients in their conservatory with a rope.

  7. Olive Or Twist bar, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania



    I've never actively rooted for someone to be robbed, but man I sure hope one day someone gets pickpocketed at this bar.

  8. From Hair-2-E-Tan-ity Day Spa Johnston, Rhode Island



    God bless these people for trying, but this might just be the most convoluted business name in the country. And that font choice just makes it even harder to decode what the hell they're talking about.

  9. The Barber of G'ville Garrettsville, Ohio



    Really didn't expect one of America's only opera pun-based businesses to be located in rural Ohio. Maybe a car dealership can open next to them called Don Jeep-or-Van-i?

  10. The Lone Arranger flower shop, Ingleside, Texas



    I love that even though she went with a pun about the Lone Ranger, she couldn't commit to a western theme and still used a dainty font and a bright blue and purple color scheme. Buy in, lady!

  11. Aesop's Tables cafe, Peterborough, New Hampshire



    Look, I hate to criticize, but if you're going to bite on a pun, stay true to it. You can't be Aesop's Tables and only have two tables. Then again, I have this website called 11 Points and I rarely write 11-point lists anymore. Let's see what Aesop would have to say about that. "Men are too apt to condemn in others the very things they practice themselves." Oh man. I'm the Wolf and the Shepherds. That's not even a famous one. I need to write more.


This post was originally published on Wednesday, December 2, 2015 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel.

Facebookery?
11 Stores Names That are Awful (or Wonderful) Literary Puns

11 Funniest Real Business Names, Clean Edition

11 Funniest Real Business Names, Dirty Edition

11 Great Photos of Ironic Accidents

11 Public Bathroom Options, Ranked From Least To Most Rank

Archive of all Travel posts
Who Has Held More Jobs: Super Mario or Homer Simpson?
Who Has Held More Jobs: Super Mario or Homer Simpson?
Published Thursday, September 7, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category TV
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
Published Thursday, August 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
Published Wednesday, July 26, 2017 at 10:00:00 AM under the category Books
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
Published Thursday, July 6, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
Published Thursday, June 22, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
Published Friday, June 9, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS