11 Points

11 More Photos of Ridiculous Signs That Must Have Crazy Backstories
written by Sam Greenspan

About a year ago, I posted a list of 11 Photos of Ridiculous Signs That Must Have Crazy Backstories. It was a mirthful journey of wild speculation, and since I'm primarily in it for the mirth, I needed to run it back.

So I've kept an eye out for more confusing, ambiguous or otherwise mysterious signs. I've finally got 11 more, so here's the sequel.
  1. The spider infestation problem is mostly resolved.



    Best theory: A dorm bathroom resembled a scene from the movie Arachnophobia. And even though none of the kids had ever seen nor heard of that movie, spiders crawling on you in the shower doesn't really require a pop culture lens to be horrifying. The school more or less resolved the problem, but didn't want to guarantee all spiders were gone, so they hedged with "mostly."

    Worst theory: The spiders put up this sign to make everyone think someone else was solving the problem. Meanwhile, they continue to grow in numbers and plan their ultimate siege.

  2. Dreamgirls: No Hippies!!.



    Best theory: This strip club (in Wellington, New Zealand) had too much trouble with guys who were RVing around the country coming in and not paying.

    Worst theory: The "No Hippies" sign is connected to the "Vacancies" sign, as the club owners realized they needed more non-hippie strippers since the smell of patchouli is a real boner killer.

  3. Employees must wash hands... especially Carl.



    Best theory: Carl's coworkers finally got tired of his occasional unhygienic ways and half jokingly/half passive aggressively added a label to the sign.

    Worst theory: Those weren't sprouts.

  4. The nearest toilets.



    Best theory: Ikea's preemptive strike against someone accidentally mistaking the showroom floor toilet for the genuine article.

    Worst theory:Ikea's post-emptive strike after someone accidentally mistook the showroom floor toilet for the genuine article.

  5. Employees are required to "wear" underpants at all times.



    Best theory: The "ALL" suggests that some employees might think they were above underwear, which leads me to believe this sign is from a strip club where the staff was a little too loose and free. Damn those Dreamgirls hippie strippers.

    Worst theory: The quotation marks around "wear" suggest perhaps some employees were coming to work carrying their underwear in their hand.

  6. Please don't fart inside the store.



    Best theory: A tiny store (that sells quite a bit of ice cream) was poorly ventilated, essentially becoming a flatus hot box.

    Worst theory: An ice cream store positioned between a Mexican restaurant, a cheese shop and a chili con carnival learned their lesson the hard way about trying to be the go-to dessert destination for their neighbors' customers.

  7. Hamburgers and cheeseburgers contain meat.



    Best theory: A restaurant that seemed like it might be organic or vegan (with a name like "Healthy Garden" or "The Enlightened Cafe") had confused customers who thought they were getting veggie burgers. Possibly after their shifts at Dreamgirls.

    Worst theory: A restaurant with burgers so bad people assumed they were made of black beans or quinoa.

  8. Do not make cucumber.



    Best theory: It's a community garden that isn't for growing vegetables. (Normally I'd chalk it up to a broken English translation, but the graphic is pretty unambiguous.)

    Worst theory: "Make cucumber" is the elegantly garbled translation for "have sex."

  9. Toilet camera is for research use only.



    Best theory: Toilet camera is for research use only.

    Worst theory: Toilet camera is not for research use only.

  10. Please DO NOT open or try on product.



    Best theory: No one ever really opened up the condoms and tried them on in the store, but Walgreens thought they'd take preventative action because people ARE getting dumber.

    Worst theory: Greater than two people actually tried on condoms right in the middle of a Walgreens, thereby prompting a sign to prevent a third perpetrator.

  11. Don't do... this.



    Best theory: Don't try to ride the moose.

    Worst theory: Don't try to "ride" the moose.


This post was originally published on Tuesday, June 28, 2016 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Travel.

Facebookery?
11 Photos of Ridiculous Signs That Must Have Crazy Backstories

11 Deeply Existential Signs and Billboards

11 Poorly Phrased Signs With Spectacular Results

11 Random Observations at the Baseball Hall of Fame

11 Cases Where Americans Happily Use the Metric System

Archive of all Travel posts
Who Has Held More Jobs: Super Mario or Homer Simpson?
Who Has Held More Jobs: Super Mario or Homer Simpson?
Published Thursday, September 7, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category TV
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
The 11 Funniest Words in the World, According to Science
Published Thursday, August 10, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Misc
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
11 Textbook Writers Who Temporarily Lost Their Minds
Published Wednesday, July 26, 2017 at 10:00:00 AM under the category Books
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
A Ban on Everclear Grain Alcohol Is Bad News... For the Violin Industry?
Published Thursday, July 6, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
11 Pairs of Classic Movies That Were Surprisingly Released on the Same Day ('90-'94)
Published Thursday, June 22, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Movies
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
11 One-Hit Wonders Whose One Hit Was a Cover
Published Friday, June 9, 2017 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Music
Full Archive
Follow
11 Points

Mailing list


Twitter


Facebook


YouTube


Pinterest


RSS