11 Points Inbox-O-Rama, Number 3
Published Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 10:00:00 AM - Single-page view

Got more great e-mails, Twitters, Facebook messages and comments than I could possibly handle this week. It's really quite amazing.

As always, anyone whose e-mail or photo submission is posted in an Inbox-O-Rama list will get a brand new 11 Points sticker. (Pending three things: (1) The person is patient, because the stickers are still being printed (2) The person e-mails me their address and (3) The person lives in the U.S. because I'm not cut out for international postage.)

Here's Inbox-O-Rama #3, presented to you now, without any further dick smacking around. (Anyone who's not close personal friends with me recognize the movie that spawned that figure of speech?)

  1. More Nintendo translation issues. Wanted to get this one in, a response to yesterday's list about Engrish in Nintendo games...
    How about Double Dragon 3? Instead of Billy and Jimmy, they list them as Bimmy and Jimmy.

    --Peter (@mrdeath)
    That's a great one, I have no idea how it escaped me during my research. I don't think I ever played Double Dragon 3. If I had a friend named Billy I would totally call him Bimmy. And I'd drive the nickname into the ground until he, and everyone around us, was sick of me doing it. That's why people like me. Being repetitive is my job. My job. Being repetitive is my job.

  2. Things that I will defend to the death. This was left as a comment on one of my less popular lists, 11 Interesting Facts About Our Presidents and Their Money. In the list I mention Teresa Heinz Kerry's ketchup fortune and comment on just how much I love ketchup. Which drew this response...
    ketchup blows im sorry but it is just not good tasting on anything. mustard for life i would DIE for mustards case

    --Mike
    I cannot just stand by and have someone say that about ketchup. It's the greatest condiment ever. Better than classics like mustard, antiquateds like relish, upstarts like honey mustard, ethnics like salsa and plumpers like mayo. It's simply the best.

    I realized it's on a very short list of things I will argue for with all of my spirit. That short list:
    • Ketchup over mustard
    • Arrested Development over any other TV show
    • Mario Kart 64 over Super Mario Kart
    • Oreo milkshakes over plain chocolate milkshakes
    • Moving to Los Angeles over moving to New York
    • Not putting album names into mp3 titles over putting album names into mp3 titles
    • Dogs over cats

    I almost put "PC over Mac" on that list, but while I can defend it 99 percent, Final Cut Pro makes it impossible for me to defend it "to the death." I also know that if I wrote something like that it would be the only subject about which I'd receive e-mails and comments for the entire week. (Well, other than the debate that's been going on over at my 11 Things The Bible Bans But You Do Anyway list... we've got folks writing encyclopedias to each other in the comments over there.)


  3. The most ridiculous e-mail I've received to date. This came to me from a female reader:
    So here's the thing . . . I thought about you while masturbating the other day. You see, it was getting to be bed time and I was doing my thing so I decided to check youporn for some visual stimulation. I clicked on a seemingly appropriate video - "Sabrina squirts while f****d" - and I started to watch. The video would have been all well and good but it was RUINED BY HARRY CHAPIN SINGING CAT'S IN THE CRADLE. You know, the one about a father-son relationship turned cold and heartless. Decidedly NOT a sexy song. Needless to say [this 11 Points] came to mind - and that, dear stranger who writes funny blogs, is why I thought about you while masturbating.

    Please do not include my name on your website. It is a true story.

    --Name withheld by request
    I don't even know what to say (although my initial thoughts circulated around how this might be the only female in the world who has her way with herself while watching semi-deviant Internet porn).

    But if you Google the title of that video and watch it (warning: you don't really want to watch it), you do in fact hear "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon."

    I'm not sure if there's a less sexy song that could be playing in the background. That might, in fact, be the worst possible choice. (Although "The Wheels on the Bus" would also certainly pull you out of the mood.)

  4. Um...
    Hi Sam (after reading your 11 points blog for a few weeks now, I feel as if I seem to know you sufficiently to be able to be so informal!)

    How about "11 things the world-at-large would be unaware of were it not for the internet" (or possibly something a little snappier!) My suggestion for that list is Squirting. If you don't know what it is, google it, but stand well back!

    --Chris in the U.K.
    Nope, Chris -- apparently this is even more well known than you ever thought.


  5. Debating "The Simpsons" episode featuring "The Critic".
    While I agree wholeheartedly with your Simpsons article [11 Best One-Off Simpsons Characters], I am a little surprised that Lovitz's other character, Jay Sherman, didn't receive any attention. Granted, he was not an original Simpsons character, but his episode was always one of my favorites...

    *Barney's "Don't cry for me - I'm already dead."
    *Mr. Burns portraying himself as Jesus
    *Hans Moleman's football to the groin winning an Oscar w/ George C. Scott in the lead role.

    Classic! --Nicholas on Facebook
    My friend Steve (who's an insanely huge Simpsons fan) and I debate the "Simpsons/Critic" episode all the time.

    Here's the dilemma: Nicholas is right. All in all, this is an incredibly funny episode. And I quote Homer's line, "Barney's movie had heart, but 'Football In the Groin' had a football in the groin" almost as much as any other line in "Simpsons" history. It's a hilarious episode, and could be a real classic.

    BUT... it's the most impure "Simpsons" ever. And it's not me saying that: It's "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. Groening was furious that a "Critic" crossover was being forced into his show (by some tandem of FOX and the other "Simpsons" executive producers who were also "Critic" executive producers). In fact, if you watch that episode, you can see that he had them remove his name from the opening credits.

    In a "Los Angeles Times" article from 1995, when the episode aired, Groening told the paper, "The two reasons I am opposed to this crossover is that I don't want any credit or blame for 'The Critic' and I feel this [character on the show] violates the Simpsons' universe. [Also, I'm afraid 'Simpsons' fans will] accuse us of making the crossover episode just to advertise 'The Critic'."

    So can it really be a pantheon episode of "The Simpsons" if it drove the show's creator to completely dissociate himself from the episode? I say no. Many people say yes.

    But anyway, that's why I didn't put Jay Sherman on my list of favorite one-off characters.


  6. Stacey Snider with Steven Spielberg.
    A message from DreamWorks. Got this e-mail last week and got a real kick out of it.
    Sam- Just wanted to let you know that we got a kick out of your piece [11 Hottest Chicks On the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Women List] which included our CEO Stacey Snider. "Norbit off more than I could chew" may be my favorite just for shear creativity in making it work in a sentence.

    Can we request one tiny change though? Stacey's 48.

    Thanks for the laugh today with the list.

    --Kristin Stark
    Director of Executive Publicity
    DreamWorks Studios
    I moved to L.A. eight years ago. Every time I go back to visit my family in Cleveland, my grandma asks me if I've met with Steven Spielberg yet.

    When I go home in a few weeks for Rosh Hashanah and she asks, I finally have an answer besides, "No, not yet." This time, I can tell Grandma, "No, but because I put the CEO of his company on a list about hot powerful chicks and got her age wrong by one year, I am now officially in e-mail contact with DreamWorks. And the only next logical step is for me to have a sit-down with Spielberg and pitch him a bunch of movie ideas. Preferably ones where the hero has a sidekick that's a talking pie."
Continue reading on page two...


This list was published on Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 10:00:00 AM under the category Misc.

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