Best Valentine's Gift Ever!
(For single people. Might be awkward to give to a dating book to your significant other.)




11 Corniest Lines in Point Break
Published Monday, March 9, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM

On Friday night, I decided to finally test my repaired leg out on the town, and I went to see Point Break Live.

It's a great concept. Actors do a live theater version of one of the cheesiest action movies ever, "Point Break". And to make sure the Keanu Reeves role is authentic, rather than have an actor play Johnny Utah, they pull a guy out of the audience to play the role and read the lines directly off of cue cards.

Seeing Point Break Live brought all sorts of happy memories back. So I decided to make a list of the corniest 11 lines in the movie. And trust me... narrowing it down was much harder than I thought.

Here they are in order, ending with the corniest line of all.

  1. This is a long-overdue 11points tribute to "Point Break"... how did I ignore it until now?
    "You're cold because all of the blood is running out of your body, Roach. You're gonna be dead soon. I hope it was worth it." Johnny Utah's weird love of Bodhi makes it so he never really gets a hero's revenge on the surfers. So this is about his best action hero line. And Keanu could not deliver it flatter.

  2. "I've been to every city in Mexico. I came across an unclaimed piece of meat in Baja, turned out to be Rosie. I guessed he picked a knife fight with somebody better. Found one of your passports to Sumatra, I missed you by about a week at Fiji. But, I knew you wouldn't miss the fifty year storm, Bodhi." Such a stilted monologue. But more importantly: How much more interesting would this movie had been if they'd shown this manhunt in a montage rather than waste SO much time on the first skydiving scene where nothing really happens.

  3. "That's, ahh... that's a surfboard all right! Looks like a '57 Chevy I used to have." I picked this because it doesn't make any sense. There's nothing visible wrong with Johnny's surfboard. Just seems like a completely arbitrary comment.

  4. "Right around that corner, there is a sandwich shop. They sell meatball sandwiches. Best I've ever tasted. Would you go get me two? Come on partner. Two. Thank you... Utah, get me TWO!" Until I watched the live show and rewatched the movie, I'd completely forgotten Gary Busey's character's OBSESSION with the meatball sandwiches. In a movie that was determined to be extreme, it's crazy that a giant deus ex machina plot point (the cops not seeing the ex-Presidents pull up to the bank) completely revolves around meatball sandwiches.

  5. "I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of a dead rhino, I should have had you get me three of these things!" And even more on the meatball sandwiches... as they get closer to Gary Busey's mouth, the lines get even cornier.


  6. So extreme!
    "They will nail you wherever you land. They'll use something new called radar, maybe you've heard of it." "Point Break" came out in 1991. Yes, by that point, we all knew about radar.

  7. "22 years. Man, L.A. has changed a lot during that time. The air got dirty and the sex got clean." A line that's totally overwritten, completely illogical... and delivered with overenthusiastic zeal by Busey.

  8. "Bodhi, this is your fucking wake-up call man. I am an F. B. I. agent!" While rewatching the movie, my friends and I discussed whether Johnny Utah is the worst undercover agent ever. He's a former college superstar athlete and, therefore, recognizable. He never lies about his name and acknowledges his past. And when he sees the ex-presidents robbing the bank, he jumps right out and shows his face. So, no, this "wake-up call" was completely unnecessary. As was over-enunciating the letters "F. B. I."

  9. "You’re a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of cum, I know." Just so unsettling and so cheesy... and this line is in the first few minutes of the movie.

  10. "You gonna jump or jerk off?" Possibly Keanu's most famous line in the movie. Doesn't make sense, does make you cringe... and feels awkward, even for him.

  11. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Nothing like a random scream while shooting a gun into the air. This "Ahhhhhhhh!" led to an iconic moment in action movie lore. He doesn't even say "Nooooooo!" He just yells. Nothing.

Apologies go out to "They're traveling on the money, going where the waves are." ... "Surfing's the source. It can change your life." ... "That's Bodhi. They call him the Bodhisattva." ... "Lawyers don't surf! / This one does." ... "They only live to get radical." ... "Everything moves in cycles, so twice a century the ocean let's us know just how small we really are. A storm comes out of Antarctica, tearing up the Pacific, and it sends a huge swell north miles. And when it hits Bells Beach it'll turn into the biggest surf this planet has ever seen. And I will be there." ... "I'm fucking surfing!" ... "This was never about money for us. It was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. To those dead souls inching along the freeways in their metal coffins, we show them that the human spirit is still alive." ... "It's 100 percent pure adrenaline. Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it. All you gotta do is jump." ... and "Via con dios." I wish I'd had room for all of you.


This list was published on Monday, March 9, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM under the category Movies.
It currently has View Comments.

Did you enjoy this list?
11 Points is a one-man operation that relies on word-of-mouth & repeat readers.
So please consider sharing this list using the social media icons in the box, and/or joining the 11 Points mailing list, Facebook fan page and Twitter feed.
11 Famous Actors Who Had Tiny Parts In Can't Hardly Wait

11 Masterfully Corny Movie Titles

11 Points Review of Iron Man 2

11 Thoughts On Inception

11 Points Review of Pineapple Express

Archive of all Movies lists

11 Results For the Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All Of Which I Actually Made)
Published Tuesday, February 7, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports

11 Picks for NFL 2011- Super Bowl, Giants vs Patriots
Published Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category NFL Picks

11 Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made)
Published Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports

11 Kissing Games, Ranked From Most to Least Innocent
Published Friday, January 27, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games

11 Ridiculous Fast Food Chain Ripoffs In China
Published Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink

11 Picks for NFL 2011- Playoffs Week 3, Giants at 49ers
Published Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 10:00:00 PM under the category NFL Picks

Full Archive
11 Points is comprised entirely of (theoretically) humorous 11-item lists covering a giant swath of topics.

It's composed entirely by this stern-
faced goon to the right. His name
is Sam. Screw Flanders.


My Damn Channel
11 Points Mailing List
updates, contests, exclusives

(advertisement)

Friends, Bloggers and Well-Wishers
(Meaning they wish me no specific harm.)
Angie Greenup
blogarama.com
Bro Bible
Comedy.com
Cracked.com
Don Chavez
Glitchoris
Gorilla Mask
John Stone
Morning, Wood
My Damn Channel
Neatorama
 Newser
OMG Blog
Panda Smash
Patrick Stack
Paul's Pond
Reality Blurred
Regretful Morning
Ritu B Pant
Smarty Panties
Wise Brother Media
Wow, My Date Sucked!


(advertisement)
11 Points is a collection of exhaustively-researched, meticulously-written, theoretically-humorous 11-item lists, covering topics ranging from TV and movies to the Internet and video games to food and dating to politics and race relations.

It's all written by Sam Greenspan, a Midwest-born, classically-trained journalist who now tries to make a dollar out of 15 cents in Los Angeles. (It's hard to be legit and still pay the rent.)

Read more about 11 Points and Sam here.

For information about reprinting 11 Points content, or for quotes/interviews for your newspaper, magazine, website, TV program, or radio show, contact Sam via e-mail at