Best Valentine's Gift Ever!
(For single people. Might be awkward to give to a dating book to your significant other.)







11 Yearbook Photos That Musicians Wish We'd Never Seen
Published Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM

Every once in a while, I write down a piece of advice I'd like to pass on to my kids one day. (In fact, these pieces of advice may soon form an 11Points list.) The addition that sparked this list: Take each yearbook photos as serious as life or death.

Because, more so than anything else that happens to you in high school, yearbook photos stay with you and have the potential to permanently haunt you. HAUNT.

Like, for example, the yearbook photos on this list. People in the music industry are all about their image. The image sells everything. As Jennifer Lopez proved, singing talent is among the least important, if not THE least important, determinant of record deals/album sales/industry success.

So here we're going to look at 11 people in the music industry whose yearbook photos completely and totally belie the marketing image their entire careers are based upon.
  1. Avril Lavigne. We always knew we were being sold something with Avril... the whole suburban Canadian punk rock badass image all felt so corporate. Well... here's what she looked like before a record company slapped a few spiked bracelets and heavy eye makeup on her.


  2. Gene Simmons. His yearbook photo shows him back when he was Chaim Witz, a nice, well-groomed Jewish mensch. That was long before he put on face makeup, stuck his tongue out, and saved Santa.


  3. Eminem. I'm not sure if it's the mullet or the goofy, googly facial expression... but his yearbook photo completely belies his "I'm a giant dick" public persona. Somehow, though, you can still tell he was legit white trash.


  4. Tina Turner. Back when she was Annie Mae Bullock. It's not that she's necessarily unattractive... but she's frumpy to the point where no one could've predicted she'd have the face and body that launched a thousand drag queens.


  5. Benji Madden. Everything that Good Charlotte's ever done has been contrived. I intentionally chose a picture of modern Benji, with his strategic tattoos and piercings, standing in front of a Nickelodeon logo.


  6. Steven Tyler. Why... so... serious?


  7. Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson wasn't a strategically-calculated freakshow growing up. In fact... he wasn't even close.


  8. Madonna. Madonna in high school looks completely ready to be a seamstress or receptionist or housewife with a drinking problem. So it took some serious twists to quickly transition her into the Madonna on the right.


  9. Jim Morrison. How much does his yearbook photo scream, "Go to the local state university for four years, get a degree in architecture and eventually become a middle manager?"


  10. Prince. This is the only case where the yearbook photo makes the person look way tougher, cooler and more badass than the modern photo.


  11. Lil Jon. There are no words. Other than Whaaaaaaat?


And finally, though the list of 11 is done, I have one epilogue note. Ryan Seacrest's not a musician like the rest, but thanks to "American Idol" and his radio show, he is connected to the music industry. And I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't bust out his image-shattering yearbook photo too.


You're welcome.


This list was published on Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 12:01:00 AM under the category Music.
It currently has View Comments.

Did you enjoy this list?
11 Points is a one-man operation that relies on word-of-mouth & repeat readers.
So please consider sharing this list using the social media icons in the box, and/or joining the 11 Points mailing list, Facebook fan page and Twitter feed.
11 Early Roles the Cast of Lost Wishes We'd All Forget

11 Best Jewish Movie Characters Played By Non-Jewish Actors

11 Ways American Idol is Better Than So You Think You Can Dance

11 of Ludacris's Sexual Fantasies That Are Just Too Damn Unrealistic

11 Most Hilariously Awful Rhymes in Music History

Archive of all Music lists

11 Results For the Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All Of Which I Actually Made)
Published Tuesday, February 7, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports

11 Picks for NFL 2011- Super Bowl, Giants vs Patriots
Published Saturday, February 4, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category NFL Picks

11 Weirdest Super Bowl XLVI Prop Bets (All of Which I Actually Made)
Published Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Sports

11 Kissing Games, Ranked From Most to Least Innocent
Published Friday, January 27, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Games

11 Ridiculous Fast Food Chain Ripoffs In China
Published Tuesday, January 24, 2012 at 11:00:00 AM under the category Food & Drink

11 Picks for NFL 2011- Playoffs Week 3, Giants at 49ers
Published Saturday, January 21, 2012 at 10:00:00 PM under the category NFL Picks

Full Archive
11 Points is comprised entirely of (theoretically) humorous 11-item lists covering a giant swath of topics.

It's composed entirely by this stern-
faced goon to the right. His name
is Sam. Screw Flanders.


My Damn Channel
11 Points Mailing List
updates, contests, exclusives

(advertisement)


Friends, Bloggers and Well-Wishers
(Meaning they wish me no specific harm.)
Angie Greenup
blogarama.com
Bro Bible
Comedy.com
Cracked.com
Don Chavez
Glitchoris
Gorilla Mask
John Stone
Morning, Wood
My Damn Channel
Neatorama
Newser
OMG Blog
Panda Smash
Patrick Stack
Paul's Pond
Reality Blurred
Regretful Morning
Ritu B Pant
Smarty Panties
Wise Brother Media
Wow, My Date Sucked!


(advertisement)
11 Points is a collection of exhaustively-researched, meticulously-written, theoretically-humorous 11-item lists, covering topics ranging from TV and movies to the Internet and video games to food and dating to politics and race relations.

It's all written by Sam Greenspan, a Midwest-born, classically-trained journalist who now tries to make a dollar out of 15 cents in Los Angeles. (It's hard to be legit and still pay the rent.)

Read more about 11 Points and Sam here.

For information about reprinting 11 Points content, or for quotes/interviews for your newspaper, magazine, website, TV program, or radio show, contact Sam via e-mail at